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I offer psychotherapy for Burnout, Breakdown, & Trauma. Connection, Compassion, & Clarity that moves you toward a life of joyous wonder & hope.

Repost from @iamjenmann • You are not broken. Y

Repost from @iamjenmann
•
You are not broken.

Your body is trying its best to protect you despite all that you have been through. It may have experienced, trauma, neglect, not feeling worthy, abandonment, abuse, or loss.

What it needs is not to be fixed, it needs to be nurtured and cared for. After all, it has got you this far and kept you alive through all that you have endured.

#broken #burdened #hope #trauma #nurture #ace

It’s the subtleness that makes this so covert an

It’s the subtleness that makes this so covert and often unknown…

Repost from @thepersonalgrowth.project
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These behaviours gradually increase levels of abuse in the relationship in a way that is covert, making it difficult to detect whilst it’s happening.

#abuse #covert #hidden #trauma #disempowerment #gradual #awareness #hope #boundary #confused

This… “time does not heal all wounds…” Re

This… “time does not heal all wounds…”

Repost from @lexyflorentina
•
Time heals all wounds is a myth. Yes time can help, and, it doesn’t erase the pain. Which is why we can’t sometimes feel stuck when we’re waiting for time to pass for healing to occur.

As humans, erasing pain is non realistic. Pain and hurt is inevitable. So why is healing always positioned as something that we do to become free of pain?

Body based healing doesn’t mean we are getting rid of pain. It means we are building space for more than just our pain.

Our joy, our peace, our aliveness, our curiosity, our connection, our presence, our boundaries, our power.

All of these experiences do not remove pain from our experience, rather, they give our body a chance for other things to exist, for life to be possible for us.

#hope #pain #loss #possibility #myth #time #healing

Learning that all the “feels” are that which c

Learning that all the “feels” are that which call for and need our assurance - the knowledge that we can trust our Self in handling what comes our way - and if we fear we cannot then trusting Self knows where to turn in times of need.

That said, building this trust can be a truly hard journey that does need ongoing support and nurturing.

Repost from @kayatoastforthesoul.sg
•
“The antidote to anxiety is NOT calm. It’s trust in ourselves”

Was a quote I happened to chance upon this week.

And it made me ponder on the truth of it.

—

Let’s consider this other statement for a moment:

That “all emotions are valid”.

Do you agree? I sure do.

And if so, this would mean that even our anxiety is valid too.

For no matter how much you want to reason with it, to rationalize or think “alternative thoughts” or look beyond the worst case scenarios.

The possibility of a worst case scenario, as minuscule of a possibility or as unlikely as it is, it still exists.

So the part of you that’s afraid of that? Or even something milder than that happening?

The part of us that is our anxiety, it’s still got a reason to be afraid too.

—

Anxiety is the part of us that really hopes we can control the outcome.

The problem is - most of the time, we can’t.

Especially if it involves the unknown, the unfamiliar, the future or the people too.

But what is anxiety trying to do in all of this really?

Well, it’s really just trying to make sure we are safe.

Safe from the idea of harm, rejection, failure or whatever it is that it believes will cause us pain.

All for good reason too.

And if the way we are trying to deal with anxiety is to just quickly make it go away - then you know how it is - it’s going to get stronger, it’s going to stay.

For being “calmed away” it’s not what it’s seeking. It’s what “we” want for ourselves instead.

What anxiety wants is reassurance.

TRUST that whatever it is afraid that will happen, is noted and can be handled by us in its wake…. Continue reading for more valuable insight at @kayatoastforthesoul.sg

#soul #hope #anxietyawareness #anxious #fear #hope #trust #anxietysupport #anxiety #youareenough #support #therapy

Oooph… speaking to systems of emotional neglect

Oooph… speaking to systems of emotional neglect

Repost from @the.trauma.educator
•
Not only our families, but our whole culture is built on emotional neglect.

Not because individuals are failing, but because our systems were never designed with emotional attunement in mind.

We’ve inherited a culture where nervous system regulation is rarely modelled, where discomfort is avoided rather than met with care, and where children learn early that emotions are inconvenient, not invitations for connection.

Healing emotional neglect isn’t just about reparenting ourselves—it’s about co-creating a world where emotional safety isn’t a privilege, but the default.

A world where schools know how to care for a child’s inner world, where doctors see emotions as part of health, and where nervous system awareness shapes the way we build communities.

So that children aren’t raised neglected, but co-regulated and anchored in inner felt safety.

Effie 🦋
#system #emotional #neglect #hope #attachment #trauma #attunement #hidden #silenced #emotion #feeling #lost

So this… Repost from @haileypaigemagee • Just

So this…

Repost from @haileypaigemagee
•
Just your regular reminder than compassion and boundaries can, and often do, coexist 🩵

We can love someone *and* not have capacity for the way they want to have a relationship with us.

We can see that someone’s behavior stems from pain or hurt *and* choose to take distance or space from their behavior.

We can trust that someone’s doing the best they can *and* acknowledge that their best still doesn’t meet our needs.

Hold space for the “and.” Often, our boundaries aren’t anti-others; they’re simply pro-self.

In loving relationships it makes sense to *occasionally* overextend ourselves for others, but repeatedly, chronically trespassing our own limits and capacity to put others first takes an enormous toll in the long run.

Setting boundaries around our capacity⁠—even in our loving relationships⁠—helps us *sustain* those relationships for the long haul.

It can be hard to know how to sustain relationships with beloved family, friends, and partners while also setting boundaries that protect your needs.

#relationships #family #boundaries #nuance #care #hope #compassion #mentalhealthawareness #youmatter

I often have parts that feel quite numb and distan

I often have parts that feel quite numb and distant when the anticipation and/or dread of an unknown doom is at its worst. Doesn’t happen often, yet it totally exists with the depths of my body.

Repost from @sarahbcoaching
•
Have you ever felt anxious, shut down, or overwhelmed in the time leading up to something?

It is so common for our anticipation of what’s to come to bring up dysregulation.

Whether it’s an email, a job interview, or a date, these moments of uncertainty can feel overwhelming, sparking fear, panic, or dread instead of curiosity and possibility.

If this resonates, please know that these feelings aren’t because something is wrong with you. They’re a natural response from a nervous system working hard to keep you safe, based on what it learned from past experiences. 💚

Our Autonomic Nervous System has one primary job and that is to keep us safe and alive.

For many of us, we experienced trauma in the past that we didn’t see coming or trauma that happened repeatedly and we never knew when it would happen again.

As a result, our systems then became incredibly self-protective during that “in between” time. We may have felt terror, anxiety, out of control, shut down, dissociated, etc. in anticipation of when that danger was going to happen again.

In some ways, this can be more painful than the actual event(s) themselves.

So in our adult lives, when our threat detector anticipates something coming, it will say, “This seems a lot like that thing in the past.” And as a result, we’ll find ourselves dysregulated.

🌟Our work is to begin showing our system that what’s happening now is not like what happened in the past.

This isn’t something we can rationalize our way into. We have to SHOW our nervous system, through somatic tools and exercises, that it is different and we are safe now.

Connection, safety, and small, manageable steps can help you shift out of the protective patterns of the past and into a sense of calm, ease, and possibility in the present.

Remember, one step at a time. That’s all you ever need to know.

With kindness,
Sarah

#trauma #alone #fear #anxiety #dread #doom #danger #safe #panic

Instagram post 18048290665986736

Instagram post 18048290665986736

Never forget you innate beauty and goodness… you

Never forget you innate beauty and goodness… you are enough.

Repost from @lexyflorentina
•
All too often, our past mistakes and choices become coupled to our current needs, desires and boundaries.

We learn to believe that because of a past situation where maybe we didn’t show up the way we wanted, that now means that the “no” we want to say makes us wrong or bad.

We learn that because we were expected to perform a certain way growing up, and maybe weren’t always able to meet expectations, that we now don’t have the right to ask for what we need.

We learn that just because we hurt others in the past, that now, every need or desire from our body is likely to hurt someone else.

This thread can be so deeply woven into our experience when we learned that there was always something we needed to work on. That there was always something that we must be doing wrong. That we were inherently bad.

And when this shows up for us in our healing journey, it can be a tricky and sticky spot to be with.

It can become easy to try harder and harder to figure out what it is that we’re doing wrong now. And what I often remind my clients when they’re here is that no matter what they learned to believe about themselves, they are inherently good.

I mean how often do we even think about that for ourselves? That we are inherently good. That just because we yelled at our kids, or we stayed in that unhealthy relationship, or we said something we regretted when we were triggered… that still we are human.

This isn’t something that many of us get to orient to growing up.

Instead, we’re often reminded to BE “good” in order to receive praise, acceptance and rewards.

But what if we reminded children that there is no such thing as a bad kid? That all children are good?

Perhaps adults would feel less shame about who they are.

Healing is an ongoing dance of reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that don’t believe they are good. Without connecting to these parts in this way, we often feel stuck in a never ending merry go round of feeling horrible about ourselves.

#wisdom #hope #trauma #mistake #bad #good #shame #connection #enough #youareenough #beauty

This couldn’t be more true Repost from @theeqs

This couldn’t be more true

Repost from @theeqschool
•
The pace of life has quickened considerably in the last 20 years, and I don’t believe our bodies are meant to live at such an unrelenting fast pace.
It disconnects us from ourselves and each other.

In the same way that magazines and movies portray edited images of human bodies,
it isn’t real.
And it isn’t good for us.
It’s not something to aspire to.
And yet we’re surrounded by it on all sides.

Children’s programming largely doesn’t include natural pauses or soothing imagery, and we wonder why they have such big reactions when it’s time to turn off the ipad.

The content on social media that consistently gets the most engagement is fast-paced and edits out breaths and organic pauses.
It quickly cycles through the moments that elicit the biggest emotional reactions in order to hold our attention.
We’re bombarded by notifications and expectations for immediate responses.

There is no time to think.
No time to reflect.
No time to respond.
No time to be with ourselves.

If you live your life outside of your body without creating space to connect with your own feelings - of joy, of discomfort, of boredom - it’s very easy to get swept up in a society that is full of emotional dysregulation.
That profits on your lack of attention span.
You need time to respond. To process. To let something move through you.
And if you constantly distract yourself, those unprocessed reactions and feelings stay stored within your body.

You have to actively create the space to be with yourself.

Let yourself get bored (the mother of creativity!).
Take time off of social media and your phone.
Ask your friends and family how they’re feeling.
Make eye contact with people.
Go for walks without a podcast or your headphones.
Move your body intuitively.
Talk into a fan.
Slow it down.

#slowdown #hope

“Emotions are what make us alive…” Indeed, t

“Emotions are what make us alive…” Indeed, they are the affect of life itself.

Repost from @alreadygoodenough
•
We need our intellect for a lot of things, but where this asset becomes problematic is when we rely on it in recovery.

I’m all for cognitive processes like changing your thoughts and beliefs, but this sometimes gets prioritized over feeling our emotions and letting them have a say, which I believe is detrimental.

Our feelings and somatic experiences need to be given priority when we’re recovering from narcissistic abuse because they live in the body, not the mind.

A narcissist would rather you be in your head and less in your experience. To take your power back, it is vital to practice embodiment: feeling, tracking sensation, moving your body in healing ways, and giving voice to the parts that had to be silenced for survival.

Cognitive bypassing can also be a defense, or self protective mechanism, that aims to keep your vulnerability out of your awareness and away from others who might try to wound you.

It’s our turtle shell, our “I’m fine” reaction, that tries to keep us internally disconnected from our feelings. This response isn’t bad, it’s survival, but in order to survive we have to stay cut off. This isn’t good for our long term well-being.

Give yourself a lot of grace as you work through this strategy. One feeling, one sensation at a time.

#protection #hope #emotion #self #trauma #cptsd #ptsd #mentalhealth #healing #awareness #survival #hiding #alive #pain #body #mond #soul

I always believed my best was never my best if I c

I always believed my best was never my best if I could tolerate more, push myself further… yet as I get older I’m realising that it’s not about how much I can tolerate, rather it is about what is in my capacity. More so, that my best is still my best even if I did not achieve better than I expected of myself.

Repost from @haileypaigemagee
•
Raise your hand if you needed to hear this! 👋

This fantastic quote is by @suegainz. How many of us have spent years over-working and over-extending, believing that “our best” is what we can do when we’re burnt out, depleted, haggard-eyed, hollow, and half-alive?

No more of that. It’s time to internalize this reframe.

“Our best” isn’t what we can do when we’re running on empty.

“Our best” is what we can do *before* the barrel runs dry.

It’s a transformative commitment: to make physical and mental health non-negotiable. If pushing harder harms us, that harm deserves to be taken seriously⁠—and pushing harder is off the table as option.

Part of the reason it’s so hard to make this commitment is because sometimes, we exist in environments that *depend on us* pushing past our capacity in order to function. Relationships. Workplaces. Lifestyles and communities.

Making your mental/physical health non-negotiable can mean risking that the relationship, workplace, or lifestyle will no longer be viable⁠ — or even fall apart ⁠— with your new boundaries.

This is one the hardest reckonings of the boundary-setting process. To stop over-extending might mean that it will all fall apart ⁠— but honestly, to keep over-extending usually means that *you* fall apart somewhere down the road.

#hope #mentalhealth #limit #burnout #therapy #boundaries #commitment #best #expectations #depression #anxiety #stress #overwhelm

Funny, but so not funny, cause it’s true 😱

Funny, but so not funny, cause it’s true 😱

Repost from @awakenwithally • Emotions, just lik

Repost from @awakenwithally
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Emotions, just like our nervous system, have 5 core needs. When these needs are sufficiently met, emotions don’t feel like a burden or a threat. They become what they were meant to be: aliveness, nourishment, guidance.

So, what are these core needs?

1. Autonomy - “Let us belong to you”.

Emotions need ownership, boundaries, and space to exist within us. They want to belong to our inner world and feel empowered, heard and embodied.

Without emotional autonomy, we become tangled in enmeshment—emotionally confused, seeking validation outside of us, and losing touch with our emotional signature.

2. Space - “Let us move”

Emotion is energy and energy needs room to exist and space to move. In contraction, it becomes suffocating, heavy, overwhelming, and frightening.

3. Expression. “We want to be alive”

Emotions were never meant to stay stuck inside of us. They want to be acknowledged and expressed.
In supression, they turn into tension, restlessness, emotional outbursts or detachment.

4. Regulation - “We want to be safely metabolized by the body”

Regulation isn’t about making emotions smaller. It is about restoring safety to feeling, releasing and metabolizing emotional energy. Without safe regulation, we experience emotional dysregulation.

5. Acceptance - “Let us be enough”

There’s something your emotions would like you to know: “Accepting us doesn’t mean things won’t change—it’s what allows transformation.

All these create emotional safety. We need at least 30-40% of these needs to be met internally- to develop enough internal safety for our emotions. The rest can be sourced in relationships or other external sources.

When we experience emotional distress or unmet emotional needs, two secondary needs emerge:
the need for support and relief and the need for recovery and integration.
Ally.

This couldn’t be more true… Repost from @thee

This couldn’t be more true…

Repost from @theempoweredtherapist
•
To those of you longing for yourself, I see you.

#self #hope

I don’t think this could be reiterated enough “we feel what we feel” - not to be explained away, justified, rationalised, and certainly not dismissed or denigrated…

Repost from @focusingresources
•
Have you ever been so anxious or upset that you couldn’t even think straight? You’re not alone. The key is to pause and acknowledge what you’re feeling. Turning toward your emotions, rather than pushing them away, helps you create space for understanding and relief. You can’t control the emotions, but you can change your relationship with them.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions, try this grounding exercise:

1️⃣ Start by getting grounded—feel your feet on the floor, notice your breath, and say, “I am here.”
2️⃣ Focus on your body and notice where you’re feeling something intense (in your chest, throat, stomach, etc.).
3️⃣ Say to the feeling in your body, “Hello, I know you are there.” This is the powerful step of turning toward how you are feeling.
4️⃣ Now say to yourself, “I am sensing something in me feels this way,” and notice how that changes your relationship to what you feel.

Take time to practice this whenever strong emotions hit. It helps you pause and gives you the space to respond with compassion.

🧡

#compassion #emotion #awareness #anxious #fear #sadness #pause #attention #focus #resources #feel

❤️❤️❤️ Repost from @cartoonconnie •

❤️❤️❤️

Repost from @cartoonconnie
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“What A.I. Can’t Replicate,” 2025, ink and watercolor on paper.

There have always been forces that undercut and distract us from the things that are actually important.

When the world is changing too fast, I can only take stock of what matters most to me. In the end, nothing can take away what I make with effort and love.

—
#madewithlove #care #handmade #hope #connection #spiritualconnection

All of these feels today…. *sigh* Repost from

All of these feels today…. *sigh*

Repost from @livefromsnacktime
•
#tired #overit #bereal #adulting #sigh #snacktime #emotion

I needed this today… to trust and to come back t

I needed this today… to trust and to come back to my Self and a more natural sense of flow.

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration
•
Do you ever feel like you’re running out of time? Like you have to sprint through life, rushing to keep up with everyone else?

Nature doesn’t rush, and yet everything gets done.

Listen to the river. It doesn’t push or force its way forward. It flows - with intention, with purpose, with ease.

It doesn’t fight the rocks or race to the ocean. It moves at its own pace, carving paths not by rushing, but by trusting its direction.

What if we did the same?

What if moving forward wasn’t about how fast we get there, but about flowing with purpose? What if we trusted the process, the timing, the rhythm of our own lives?

The river reminds us that progress doesn’t need to be hurried.
 Forward doesn’t mean frantic.
 Flow at your own pace.

So let go of the rush. Could you let go of the need to keep up? Flow with your purpose, and trust that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

Flow, don’t force. Trust, don’t rush.

#mentalhealth #wellbeing #hope #trauma #therapy #self #connection #compassion #slow #purpose

Ohhh interesting word I’ve not heard of before… Salutogenesis…

Repost from @primaltrust_official
•
In healthcare, pathogenesis focuses on what’s wrong with you—identifying the causes of illness and symptoms. While important, it often keeps you stuck in a cycle of fixing problems and managing symptoms.

On the other hand, salutogenesis flips the script. It’s about focusing on what supports your health and well-being, asking, “What helps my body thrive?” instead of just “What’s wrong with me?”

This shift in thinking is not just about feeling better in the moment—it’s about empowering your body to heal itself. Instead of being overwhelmed by the causes of disease, you begin to look for ways to create the right conditions for healing.

When it comes to your nervous system, for example, this mindset shift is critical. Chronic stress or trauma can leave the body stuck in survival mode (sympathetic nervous system), making it hard to heal. But by focusing on what nourishes you—like emotional balance, stress management, and supportive environments—you encourage your body to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps you heal, digest, and recover.

Salutogenesis is about creating balance and giving your body the resources it needs to thrive. This mindset shift can be a powerful tool for improving your health and overall well-being.

#Salutogenesis #Pathogenesis #hope #trauma #wellness #balance #burnout #brisbane #therapy #counseling

This is why I do what I do…. Repost from @theem

This is why I do what I do….

Repost from @theempoweredtherapist
•
In my time as a therapist, I have worked in a variety of settings. And in each of them, I can recall a time when therapists were called in to take over when distress was high. School administrators gladly pass along a crying student to a therapist ready to walk them to their office and sit with them and their tears. Medical professionals ask therapists to support patients who have just received upsetting medical news. When someone’s life is at risk, therapists step in to safety plan and offer gentle guidance and support. Therapists are called in for disaster relief when natural disasters and tragedies ravage a community. Therapists are crisis workers and the ones who help someone connect with themselves following pain that occurred for them so long ago.

Therapists are asked to be present at the beginning and the end. Therapists are containers when the space feels entirely uncontained.

Dear therapists, thank you for the work you do. Thank you for showing up for those who wouldn’t have anyone else there. Thank you for being the one everyone turns to, to diffuse an intense situation. Thank you for processing, for holding space, for sitting with people in their hardest moments. Thank you for offering acute support and healing practices years after the pain has set in. Thank you for tending to people’s stories. Thank you for helping them to see that they aren’t fully alone. Thank you for your teachings and your wisdom. Thank you for offering your care to others. Thank you for every last drop of your humanity.

Therapists, I love us.

To all of the therapists who show up first and leave last, I see you.

#trauma #blessed #grateful #hope #compassion #therapy #therapistsofinstagram #thankyou #youmatter

Repost from @sarahbcoaching • Do boundaries feel

Repost from @sarahbcoaching
•
Do boundaries feel confusing, overwhelming, or even scary?

If so, you’re not alone. Let’s explore why this might be happening.

We’re all born with an innate ability to set boundaries based on our internal truth, limits, and needs. Think of young children who naturally say “no” or express what they want without hesitation. When it’s safe to set boundaries, this ability thrives.

But for many of us, safety wasn’t part of our story.

If setting boundaries led to shame, harm, or love being withheld, we brilliantly adapted to survive and maintain safety.

Maybe that looked like reflexively saying “yes” to maintain connection or setting rigid “no” boundaries to protect ourselves.

Healing often involves moving from diffuse to rigid boundaries as we rediscover safety in saying no, taking up space, and choosing what’s right for us. Over time, this paves the way for boundaries that reflect our embodied truth and limits instead of setting them from a self-protective state.

You make sense, my friend. All parts. Always.

With kindness,
Sarah

#boundaries #sense #protecton #self #hope #safety #safe #trauma

Another powerful insight 💕 Repost from @f.hans

Another powerful insight 💕

Repost from @f.hanson
•
Self-abandonment is a survival strategy where we trade authenticity for security. We create coping strategies to deal with difficult circumstances, and there are many situations where that trade makes perfect sense. It’s important to start by appreciating the useful function our behaviors serve.

As time goes on, our circumstances sometimes change - but we’re still carrying around those old behaviors. This is deeply unfair: those circumstances weren’t our fault, but we’re now saddled with all of these tendencies that keep on messing our lives up.

It’s easy for things to get fuzzy, almost blurred together, when we’re dealing with the mind. We can take responsibility for a behavior without taking responsibility for the circumstances that created it. We can focus on ‘from now on’ without beating ourselves up about all those times we didn’t do something. We can even appreciate the benefits a behavior like self-abandonment brings into our lives - how it smooths things over with people or makes us easily likeable - while still practicing with a new way of being.

#abandoned #alone #fear #self #trauma #hope #validation #insight #security #authentic

Really insightful… Repost from @the.trauma.educ

Really insightful…

Repost from @the.trauma.educator
•
If no one could make us feel anything, we wouldn’t leave abusive relationships or help others leave.

Children raised in dysfunctional environments would be unaffected by chronic neglect.

People living in war zones and systemic violence wouldn’t develop PTSD.

But they do, and so do we.

A big part of our emotions are not isolated experiences—they are relational.

The phrase “No one can make you feel anything” bypasses the reality of the human experience.

As a co-regulating species, our nervous systems respond to others, shaping how we feel.

Denying this truth not only isolates us but diminishes the depth of connection and healing relationships can offer.

In our culture, there’s an obsession with bypassing our interdependence.

This obsession is tied to a need to see our species as omnipotent—as limitless beings who are completely self-sufficient.

Statements like these are also somewhat narcissistic. They deny our vulnerability & biological interconnection, qualities that are at the core of what it means to be human.

Let’s remember:

🔹Our feelings matter and are shaped by both internal & external experiences

🔹While we can’t control what others do, we can develop the capacity for emotional processing and to respond with discernment

Wise words by @lexyflorentina • This something I

Wise words by @lexyflorentina
•
This something Ive said to my clients for years. Our most primal need is to be held. Not only physically, in the arms of safe people. But emotionally, spiritually, energetically, and mentally.

To be held is to be met where you are, in what you’re navigating, what you’re needing, what you’re going through. But for many of us, we learned that there were conditions in order to receive this or that it wasn’t safe to experience it.

We learned that something needed to be changed within us before we could “deserve” that, we learned we would be dropped, abandoned, betrayed, or taken advantage of if we allowed it, we learned that there was so much required of us in order to find it.

So often these same learned beliefs seep into our healing journeys and self discovery. We search for what needs to be fixed, what needs to be changed within us.

Urgently seeking answers to the question “what’s wrong with me?” Only to find ourselves round and round in circles still longing for peace but chasing to be fixed.

But what if you didn’t need to be fixed? What if you needed to be held?

Held in what you’re feeling. Held in what you’re experiencing, Held in what you’re needing. Held in what you’re longing for. By others and by your Self…

To hold ourselves and be held involves self attunement: A vital component of feeling safe enough to actually regulate our nervous system and sustain it long term.

#safe #container #hope #emotions #attunement #self #resources #attachment #connection #trauma #answers #questions #held #safehaven

This couldn’t be more accurate and in line with

This couldn’t be more accurate and in line with what I know to be true…

Repost from @matthewlicata
•
The capacity to grieve

One thing I’ve discovered in my own life (pain) – and also in my clinical work – is that it’s the capacity to grieve that creates the linkages in psyche and soma that are at the very essence of neural integration.

There is no true rebirth without passing through the portal of grief, which is not a solar journey upward into transcendence, but attunement to the descending current, into earth, body, and mud.

It is what allows us to hold and metabolize the fragments of the unlived life, held deep in the soul and the somatic unconscious.

One of the hallmarks of unresolved relational trauma is the incapacity to mourn, to weep all the way down into our cells, and make the journey of embodied lamentation.

As relational beings wired to co-regulate and co-enter the Mystery together, we’re not always able to do this on our own.

We long for a Friend to bear witness to the subtle depth of our tears, emanations of the alchemical salt, which wash and purify the way ahead.

The nature of the Ally is that of a shapeshifter and will appear in a variety of forms, and may surprise us.

As our perception is cleansed and our heart is polished, its form will become more clear, more vivid, and translucent.

#hope #presence #grief #clarity #integration #trauma #pain #attunement #together #core #self #authentic #witness #emotion #care #compassion #mystery

Seems a accurate in describing my week… Repost

Seems a accurate in describing my week…

Repost from @gemmacorrell
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*sigh*

#sleepless #exhausted #cantsleep #reading #hope #rest #restless #trauma #burnout

Repost from @getgrounded1 • Can we talk about th

Repost from @getgrounded1
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Can we talk about the “if” in your apology?!

I’m sorry IF I hurt you.
I’m sorry IF that made you feel bad.
I’m sorry IF you took that the wrong way.

The IF is an insult.

It infers you don’t trust the person to recognize their own feelings and then to articulate them to you.

It infers you don’t trust that the person is really hurt....maybe they’re just making it up to cause an argument.

It infers you don’t have the emotional regulation tools to handle the way it makes YOU feel when you hurt someone.

Try “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Try “I’m sorry I made you feel bad.”
Try “ I’m sorry my words made you feel that way.”

Does this mean we meant to do something wrong?
Does this mean we are accepting responsibility for the whole conflict?
Does this mean the other person did nothing wrong?

Nope, nope and nope.

It means there may be a misunderstanding. It means whatever you said (even if it was right on) made the other person feel some type of way and what does it take from us to apologize and take accountability for our words.? We may still feel just as strongly about our side of the conflict and we may still feel just as strongly that we didn’t intend to hurt them with our words or actions…and yet we still did.

It’s okay to accept that sometimes we hurt others. We are human.

Saying you’re sorry in a way that recognizes that and validates the other persons feelings is healthy. This doesn’t mean we hold their feelings for them and it doesn’t mean it is our job to regulate their emotions for them. It also doesn’t mean that what we said is inaccurate or wrong.

It simply means.....I am sorry you are feeling that way and that I had a part in it.

Then....go take care of your nervous system. Being accountable can be dysregulating if we haven’t had it modeled for us. It can be very uncomfortable if we have a story about it in our heads.

Go for a walk, meditate, self soothe, do some breath work.

You got this....and great apology!

Raise that chin and shoulders back....you rock!

#apology #if #foodforthought #accountability #hope #courage #human #youareenough #sorry #emotion #relationships

Indeed… Repost from @neurowild_ • It’s so h

Indeed…

Repost from @neurowild_
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It’s so hard to self advocate when you’ve spent your whole life prioritising the needs and emotions of everyone else.

Being an adult without these skills makes us so vulnerable.

And. We already were.

Coming up with this list was far too easy for me.

God. I have so much work to do.

I know so many of you will relate.

Much love.
It’s hard.

Em

#adulting #alone #vulnerability #fear #doubt #unknown #neurodivergent #need #self #strength #hope

I found this facinatingly interesting… Repost f

I found this facinatingly interesting…

Repost from @boundariedbootcamp
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Fear masks itself as logic. Which means when we first begin to step into a path of personal growth, our frightened mind can go into an overthinking overdrive.

Suddenly, a whole lot of seemingly-rational thoughts often arise, detailing aaaaall the reasons why we should avoid changing anything.

Or put change off for later.

Or DIY it (and thereby ensure that we’ll stay the same).

Because staying the same feels safer to the survival brain than heading out into who-the-hell-knows-what. 😵‍💫

And, no surprise, when we listen to all the “logical” reasons the survival brain gives us for why change isn’t possible for us, things…stay the same. 💔

Anyone relate?

Here’s an inner boundary that can really help:

When you’re trying to change something but you don’t know how to change it, don’t try to DIY it if you don’t have to.

This is NOT the time to lean on perfectionism or over-responsibility-taking, thinking you’re somehow supposed to be able to do this alone.

That’s just fear talking.

Reaching out for help isn’t silly, wrong or bad.

To the contrary. It’s brilliant, wise and good. 🥹

Because it’s perfectly normal for our cute little human brains to be unable to see past their limited perceptions. 🧠

(Our limited perceptions can’t DIY what they don’t know how to do, even if they mean well and wish they could).

So stop beating yourself up for being a human.

There’s nothing wrong with you for not knowing how to do this.

How can you know how to do what you’ve never done?

But good news. There is a way to move beyond the fear and to step into your beautiful new boundaries.

You can do it.

Because we can do it together. 🕯️

❤️
Molly

#fear #doubt #unknown #boundaries #hope #beyond #responsibility #toomuch #trauma #logic #thinking #scared

Perfect encapsulation of being truly seen… Repo

Perfect encapsulation of being truly seen…

Repost from @beckyhemsleypoetry
•

#youmatter #mask #masker #hide #self #hope #see #listen #truth #care

So many times I find parts of me completely lost i

So many times I find parts of me completely lost in my mind…

Repost from @ourembodiedhealing
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For everyone who overthinks and overanalyzes…

For everyone who can’t get their brain to slow down when it’s time to rest…

For everyone who tries to think their way out of stuckness and sadness and so much more…

Being in our thoughts and living life from our head has protected us so much, so many times, some of us for so long. When faced with any experience that overwhelms our ability to stay present in our body, disconnecting from our feeling sense and retreating to our mind is an *incredibly* dependable way to survive the hardest moments. And when we’ve spent a large part of our life having many, many hard moments, one after another, getting stuck in our head can be the safest place to be.

Getting stuck in our thoughts and not being able to get out of our head isn’t dysfunctional, it’s protective. It may have us spinning in circles, but it’s saved us. Sometimes it even feels like a real refuge, to retreat to our intellect…

And yet at some point as we heal from trauma, we inevitably become aware of the limitations of living a life from the neck up, and so we start the journey to descend. We begin to return to the feeling sense in our whole body, bit by bit. We see how our mind and brain has given us a safe haven to fix and figure and even hide out when there was nowhere else to go. We learn slowly that it might be ok to join our heads and our bodies back together again, so that we might live more fully.

And on days we notice we’re really stuck in our heads, we might hold our sweet brain gently between our hands, appreciate how it’s kept us safe, and see if it’s open to beginning to feel a little further down 💓

#overthinking #brain #body #mind #trauma #stuck #pain #sadness #hope #overwhelmed #therapy

Burnout isn’t just for professionals…. Burno

Burnout isn’t just for professionals….

Burnout can occur as a parent or carer, as a result of allistic expectations that dismisses neurodivergent needs, or as a result of ongoing relational stressors without resolve.

If your feeling as though you are burning out- your light, warmth, and hope slowly fading…. Now is the time to find connection and compassion.

Connect and together we shall seek to find clarity amidst this inner world of chaos.

Link in Bio
#burnout #exhausted #trauma #fatigue #chronicillness #therapy #counselling #hope #light #wornout #compassion #connection #chaos

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Chele Yntema is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Trauma Specialist.

In the spirit of reconciliation I acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. I pay my respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. I am committed to inclusion across race, culture, ethnicity, gender, sex, sexuality, religion, and ability. I recognise that people from diverse communities face systemic barriers and seek to challenge the current system and strive for change that makes mental health and wellbeing accessible to and inclusive for all.

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