When you are tired of being strong
When you are struggling to carry on
Remember that you are welcome here, you belong.
Chele Yntema
Psychotherapy & Counselling
I currently offer depth-orientated therapy based in a conversational-relational approach.
Such is a conversation and a relationship that possess a somatic and dynamic transformational quality, facilitating movement across the domains of sensation (consiousness), perception (relatedness), and interpretation (language).
What this means is, first and foremost we work together creating a connection that feels relationally safe. This is a connection of receptive presence, attunement, and a gentle guidance inward. Together we begin to listen to the wisdom of your inner world in new ways – your sensations, perceptions, and interpretations held within your window of capacity.
Gradually you will experience a greater sense of internal and interpersonal trust that opens gentle curiosity allowing us to identify and tend to the parts of your life that have been keeping you ‘stuck’.
Grounded in compassion and the intuit knowing within you, alongside my knowledge of the developing mind and the impact of ambiguous trauma, together we shall co-create and language new inward understandings of your Self and your relationships with meaning and significance, whilst also holding space for that which has been lost.
Together we will rediscover your hope and your sense of Self; we will reconnect you to what matters reclaiming the joy and delight in life you so deserve.
Ultimately this is a process of cultivating contextual coherence by focusing on co-regulated connection and compassionate collaboration.
I specialise in burnout, breakdown, and trauma:
Burnout - The Relentless Pressure of Doing
Burnout arises from a part of us that feels the relentless pressure of doing — the prolonged burden of meeting demands that chronically exceed our system’s capacity. It is the physiological, psychological, and relational consequence of unyielding expectations to do, without space or permission to simply be.
While often culturally associated with the overburdening demands of success, for many, burnout is not just the stress of striving. Rather, it is the exhaustion of constant Self-monitoring and Self-modifying — the morphing and masking required in the ongoing pursuit of a felt sense of safety.
In this light, burnout may be seen as the slowly creeping shadow of inauthenticity — the parts of us that learned, in order to survive, we must continuously reorient and reconfigure to the needs of the Other and the World around us. That, to remain connected, our inner truth must be concealed or sacrificed.
Burnout is the silent cost of attachment over authenticity.
Characterised by exhaustion, anhedonia, depersonalisation, and a pervasive sense of inefficacy, burnout reflects a gradual and systemic collapse. It is not a breakdown of will or want — it is a protective shut-down: an embodied response to the dissonance of lingering hiddenness and aloneness.
This collapse rarely arrives suddenly. It accumulates — quietly, slowly — until the cost of masking and morphing outweighs our capacity to contain it. Burnout is the body’s way of saying what the voice could not: this is not working.
Some of the most piercing expressions of burnout arise in those whose struggle is unseen or unspoken:
- Neurodivergent burnout, shaped by the unrelenting expectations of a neuronormative world
- Carer burnout, born from the ongoing, often invisible, labour of tending to the needs of the Other
- Professional burnout, stemming from intensive, unacknowledged occupational stress and responsibility
No matter the form, burnout is a deep discombobulation — the result of holding too much, too often, for too long.
Yet it cannot be negated: amidst the collapse is a call — a plea from the Self to be met in authenticity, with compassion and curiosity. Burnout does not mark the end of capacity, but the beginning of an invitation: to move from self-sacrifice toward Self-return.
Breakdown - The Crisis of a Fractured Sense of Being
Breakdown emerges not from the pressure to do, but from the fractured sense of being — when the internal scaffolding that once held our sense of Self begins to splinter under the disruptive weight of crisis.
Where burnout reflects prolonged overextension, breakdown signals a rupture — a point where internal dissonance has nowhere left to go. It is the silent implosion of once-reliable patterns of Self-protection, now rendered ineffective, insufficient, or intolerable.
Characterised by fragmentation, disorientation, dissociation, or disorganisation, breakdown is the moment coherence falters. Our systems, no longer able to hold the accumulated complexity, enter a state of involuntary surrender. It is not weakness — it is the raw truth of collapse, where what once protected us can no longer contain what lies beneath.
This rupture may appear sudden, but its roots are long. Breakdown often follows years of over-adapting, of silent suffering, of surviving rather than living. It is the body’s urgent declaration: this can no longer continue.
The deepest ruptures often occur in those who have held themselves together for too long — who have made themselves smaller, quieter, more acceptable, more useful. These shattering expressions of breakdown frequently arise in moments of transition:
- Developmental or maturational breakdown, when life transitions overwhelm the Self’s available resources and supports
- Situational or personal breakdown, triggered by a sudden disruption to a felt sense of inner or outer “home”
- Social or adventitious breakdown, provoked by uncommon or unanticipated events that shake the Self through extensive loss, instability, or rupture
In these moments of unravelling, breakdown becomes a threshold — not an immediate path to recovery, but an entry point toward recognition, resonance, and reorganisation — and ultimately, the possibility of returning to Self.
Trauma - The Lingering Impact of a Shattered Self
Trauma is the state of overwhelm in which our internal or external resources are inaccessible, and we are left incapacitated in the face of extreme stress. It is anything that is too much, too fast, too soon, or too little, too late. Trauma is not defined by the event, but by the impact it leaves behind — the sense of Self and the capacity to connect with Others and the World.
Trauma may be acute or prolonged, personal or collective, visible or invisible. At its core, trauma is any experience that exceeds a system’s capacity to cope and has not been met with the support required for integration. We use the notion of systems intentionally — trauma may be held not only in the individual, but also in families, communities, cultures, and generations.
Trauma disrupts our innate assumptions — that the world is safe, just, and predictable; that we are worthy of care; that others will protect us when we cannot protect ourselves. It creates dissension and discord in how we sense, perceive, and interpret ourselves, others, and the world. Its imprint is physiological, psychological, and relational.
While trauma may arise in many ways, its effects are most penetrating when our capacity to make sense of what has happened is lost. Trauma often leaves us defenceless, discombobulated, disconnected, and terrified — estranged not just from Others and the World, but from our most authentic sense of Self.
Three core forms of trauma commonly emerge in clinical experience:
- Relational trauma occurs when those we depend on for safety and connection become a source of harm, fear, or inconsistency. It may be rooted in early attachment wounds, betrayal, emotional neglect, coercion, or chronic invalidation. It often leaves a lasting impact on our ability to trust, express needs, or tolerate closeness.
- Incidental trauma is the result of a sudden, often unexpected event that overwhelms our system — such as a car accident, natural disaster, assault, or medical crisis. While it may appear isolated, its effects can reverberate deeply, particularly if the event is not adequately processed or supported.
- Ambiguous trauma refers to experiences that may not be immediately recognised as traumatic, yet still carry a profound impact. These may include subtle or covert forms of neglect, cultural or spiritual betrayal, infertility, loss without closure, or cumulative microaggressions. Because they often go unseen or unacknowledged, ambiguous traumas can silently shape our identity and relational patterns.
No matter the form, trauma lives in the body as unfinished survival. It is not a failure of resilience, but a reflection of what was endured without enough safety, support, or choice.
And yet, trauma also marks a threshold — not one of quick resolution, but of gentle reorganisation. Through connection, compassion, and co-regulation, the dissonance of trauma can begin to soften. Our system can begin to restore a sense of Self as safely seen, soothed, and supported.
Parts Approach - For when the world shouts 'give up'... Hope whispers 'one more time'...
If you’ve worked with a team of professionals — psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, counsellors, or coaches — and felt that their modalities didn’t quite meet you, or if you’re simply seeking a more relational exploration of Self, this may be a space for you.
Together, we approach your suffering not as something to be fixed, but as something to be understood through a compassionate lens of multiplicity. Rooted in the work of Dr. Janina Fisher and Dr. Richard Schwartz, we recognise that your inner world is composed of many parts — each with their own story, their own purpose, and their own attempt at protection or belonging.
Our work gently unfolds the parts of you that have adapted to life’s adversity — the parts shaped by protective avoidance or anxious hypervigilance, by people-pleasing or perfectionism, by emotional flooding or shutting down. These parts are not broken. They are intelligent, relational responses to a world that may not have always felt safe, fair, or welcoming.
In this space, we explore how these parts came to be — how they protected you, how they helped you survive, and how they may now be asking for something new. You might notice patterns such as:
- A tendency to override your needs in order to maintain harmony
- A fear of speaking what you truly feel
- Emotional overwhelm that feels sudden and all-consuming
- A relentless drive to “get it right” or anticipate every outcome
- A numbing or disconnection when things feel too much
Rather than judge or suppress these responses, we welcome them. Together, we co-create a space where your protective parts can be acknowledged with dignity — and where the deeper needs beneath them can be met with attunement and care.
This is a somatic and dynamic process of integration. A slow return to the Self you were always becoming — not by casting parts aside, but by weaving them back into wholeness, with gentleness and understanding.
Which may present as:
- Complex & Developmental Trauma
- Personality / Dissociative Disorders
- Single or Multiple Incident Trauma
- Adult Autism & ADHD based Trauma
- Chronic Depression / Dysthymia
- Anxiety / Panic / Separation Distress
- Overwhelm / Stress / Burnout
- Self-esteem / Self-efficacy
- Pregnancy / Parenting
- Relationships / Friendships
- Personal Growth & Identity
- Or any other Challenging Life Situations
Theories & modalities I may draw from in my work:
Interpersonal Neurobiology
Based on the work of Dr. Daniel J Siegel Interpersonal Neurobiology is an interdisciplinary field that integrates principles from neuroscience, psychology, and various other disciplines to understand how relationships shape the development and function of the brain. It explores how interactions between individuals influence brain structure and function, emphasizing the importance of social connections in shaping mental health and well-being.
Affective Neuroscience
Based on the work of Jaak Panksepp affective neuroscience is a multidisciplinary field that studies the neural mechanisms underlying emotions, mood, and motivation. It explores how brain processes contribute to the experience, expression, and regulation of affective states, shedding light on the biological basis of emotions and related phenomena.
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is a psychological framework developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, focusing on the dynamics of emotional bonds between individuals, particularly between children and their caregivers. It posits that early interactions with caregivers shape the quality of attachment bonds, influencing an individual’s emotional and social development throughout their lifespan. The theory categorises attachment styles, such as secure, anxious-ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganised, based on how individuals perceive and respond to relationships.
Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, proposes that the autonomic nervous system (ANS) plays a crucial role in regulating social behavior, emotional responses, and physiological states. It suggests that the ANS comprises three interconnected pathways, with the vagus nerve playing a central role. The theory posits that the evolutionarily older parts of the vagus nerve (dorsal vagal complex) are associated with immobilization and shutdown responses, while the newer parts (ventral vagal complex) are linked to social engagement and connection. Polyvagal theory provides insights into how our physiological state influences our social interactions, emotional experiences, and overall well-being.
Psychodynamic Theory
Psychodynamic theory is a psychological framework that emphasises the role of unconscious processes, internal conflicts, and early childhood experiences in shaping personality and behaviour. Psychodynamic theory posits that unconscious drives and desires influence conscious thoughts and behaviours, and that unresolved conflicts from childhood can manifest in adult psychological problems. Therapy based on psychodynamic principles often involves exploring unconscious dynamics to promote insight, self-awareness, and emotional healing.
Compassion Focused Theory
Compassion theory revolves around understanding and cultivating compassion as a fundamental aspect of human behaviour and well-being. It encompasses both the cognitive and emotional aspects of compassion, emphasising empathy, kindness, and a desire to alleviate suffering in oneself and others. Compassion theory explores how compassion influences relationships, health, and societal structures, and it often intersects with fields such as psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy.
Emotion Focused Theory
Emotion theory encompasses various psychological perspectives that seek to understand the nature, origin, and functions of emotions. It examines how emotions are experienced, expressed, and regulated, as well as their roles in cognition, behaviour, and social interactions. Emotion theories may focus on physiological, cognitive, behavioural, evolutionary, or socio-cultural aspects of emotions, providing insights into their complexity and significance in human life.
Three-Phased Trauma Approach
The three-phased trauma approach is a therapeutic model that utilises three phases:
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Safety and stabilisation: Focuses on establishing a sense of safety and stability for the individual. This phase involves building coping skills, enhancing emotional regulation, and creating a supportive environment to manage symptoms.
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Processing trauma: Involves working through traumatic memories and experiences in a structured and safe manner. Therapeutic techniques such as exposure therapy or cognitive processing therapy may be utilized to help process and integrate traumatic memories.
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Integration and reconnection: Focuses on integrating the healing work done in therapy into the individual’s daily life. This phase involves building resilience, strengthening social support networks, and reconnecting with meaningful aspects of life.
The three-phased trauma approach aims to address the complex needs of trauma survivors, promote healing and recovery, and support individuals in rebuilding their lives after traumatic experiences.
Internal Family Systems
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic model that views the mind as composed of multiple “parts.” Developed by Richard Schwartz, IFS posits that each part has its own unique perspective, emotions, and motivations. The aim of therapy is to facilitate harmony and healing within the internal system by fostering compassionate understanding and communication between parts. Through compassionate connection and communication individuals learn to identify, engage, and understanding the intention of their parts, leading to greater self-awareness, integration, and emotional healing.
Dialectical Thinking & Feeling
Dialectical thinking and feeling refers to the ability to hold seemingly contradictory or opposing perspectives, emotions, or truths simultaneously without dismissing or invalidating either side. It involves embracing complexity and recognising the nuances inherent in human experience. Dialectical approaches, such as dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), emphasize balancing acceptance and change, rationality and emotionality, and validation of one’s own experiences while also considering the perspectives of others.
Transference & Countertransference
Transference refers to the unconscious redirection of feelings and attitudes from one person to another, often arising from past relationships or experiences. In therapy, transference commonly occurs when clients project emotions, expectations, or reactions onto their therapist, based on unresolved dynamics from their past.
Countertransference, on the other hand, refers to the therapist’s unconscious emotional reactions and responses to the client, often influenced by the therapist’s own experiences, biases, or unresolved issues. It can affect the therapeutic relationship and the therapist’s ability to provide effective treatment if not recognized and managed appropriately.
Somatic Awareness
Somatic awareness refers to the ability to perceive and attend to bodily sensations, feelings, and experiences. It involves being mindful of physical sensations, such as tension, relaxation, warmth, or discomfort, and recognising how they are connected to emotions, thoughts, and overall well-being. Somatic awareness is often cultivated through various practices of mindfulness, body scanning, or simply drawing attention to the body at specific moments throughout the day. Somatic awareness can enhance self-awareness, emotional regulation, and stress management.
Mindfulness & Meditation
Mindfulness is a state of present-moment awareness, characterized by non-judgmental attention to one’s thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment. It involves intentionally directing attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance, without getting caught up in past regrets or future worries.
Meditation, on the other hand, refers to a diverse set of practices that cultivate mindfulness, concentration, and emotional well-being. These practices often involve sitting quietly and focusing attention on a particular object, such as the breath, a mantra, or bodily sensations. Meditation aims to quiet the mind, deepen self-awareness, and cultivate qualities like compassion, clarity, and equanimity.
Non-Violent Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a communication approach developed by Marshall Rosenberg that emphasizes compassionate connection and conflict resolution. It involves expressing oneself honestly and empathically, while also listening with empathy to others. NVC focuses on identifying and expressing feelings and needs, rather than judgments or blame, in order to foster understanding and collaboration in relationships. The goal of NVC is to create mutual respect, trust, and empathy, leading to more authentic and satisfying connections with others.
You may be now thinking…. “But how do these all fit together?” To more fully understand what this may look like please take the time to read my article of health and wellbeing, as well as how I work for a more full understanding.
