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chele_yntema

Complex trauma & dissociation specialist | Trauma-focused, somatic, relational psychotherapy | Brisbane southside

Repost from @spiritofahippie_official • Our Best i

Repost from @spiritofahippie_official
•
Our Best is Enough

If we approach life with love,
if our actions arise from kindness
and are guided by good intent,
then we have already given all we can.

The world may not notice,
may not always see or appreciate our efforts,
and outcomes may not unfold as we had hoped.

Yet a life well-lived
is not measured by perfection
nor counted in triumph,
but in the sincerity of our heart,
in the integrity of our deeds.

To try,
to offer ourselves with honesty and compassion,
is fulfillment enough.

When we act from this place,
we hold no regrets,
for we have truly done our best.

And in that quiet truth,
there is peace.

~ ‘Our Best is Enough’ by Spirit of a Hippie @spiritofahippie_official

✍️ Mary Anne Byrne

~ Art Unknown via Pinterest

Repost from @safe.journal • Sometimes the constant

Repost from @safe.journal
•
Sometimes the constant noise isn’t helping. It’s just keeping you from hearing yourself. 🤍

There is a certain kind of pain in perfectionism t

There is a certain kind of pain in perfectionism that only those who know it, know it…

Repost from @eggshelltherapy_imilo

“COMPETENT, CAPABLE, AND DROWNING

Giftedness often comes with perfectionism. It may have started as a kind of hyper-focusing on your tasks or interests, or as honourable work ethics and the love of excellence.

But it could also come from something more painful and traumatic: never knowing what it means to be unconditionally loved.

You learned young that love and approval came when you performed, when you exceeded expectations, when you made others proud. Somewhere along the way, you internalised the message that your worth must be qualified and justified, that you must keep earning it, again and again, without rest.

The moment your performance lapses, you lose relevance, attention, and love.

Perfectionism started as a fear of abandonment and isolation, and eventually became a relentless and punishing internal critic. “
•
Full essay: https://eggshelltherapy.com/high-functioning-depression/

Repost from @by.samanthaking • It’s a shedding of

Repost from @by.samanthaking
•
It’s a shedding of sorts that no one warns about. This dismantling of the old life as the new one beings to build. It can feel disorienting. When you’ve spent so much time building something to only watch it fall is overwhelming.

But it’s who you become after, while you’re in that in between space, that’ll make you proud one day. I know this part is tough, growth doesn’t come without a price. I just want you to know you’re not alone in it

#growth #loss #grief #becoming #trauma

Repost from @haileypaigemagee • I’m so grateful to

Repost from @haileypaigemagee
•
I’m so grateful to @by.samanthaking (be sure to follow her for more, she’s great!) for putting this to words.

It captures the essence of every significant transition I’ve ever been through.

The times I’m most proud of are the moments I’ve fought past my deepest fears and most crushing self-doubt in order to choose me.

Leaving toxic relationships.
Quitting drinking.
Setting boundaries for the first time.
Breaking cycles in my family.

Every single one of those choices carried the undertone of:
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“This might break me.”
“Am I strong enough?”

And for that very reason, now, they’re the moments I reflect on with tremendous pride.

Be mindful that the transitions that are causing you distress now⁠—
that are wracking you with fear, with uncertainty—
that are taking every ounce of strength that you have⁠—

these will be the moments that future you looks back on proudly.

#trauma #courage #pride #therapy

Repost from @drelizabethfedrick • And there is not

Repost from @drelizabethfedrick
•
And there is nothing easy about it. 😵‍💫

Holding space for someone’s experience… especially when they’re sharing about how they are feeling hurt or triggered by YOU…

Can most certainly trigger your own shame, guilt, or fear of being “the problem.” 😔
 Many of us grew up in environments where being “wrong” meant being punished, rejected, abandoned, shamed, and ridiculed…
 So now, any type of feedback or request for change… can feel like really hurtful criticism (even when it isn’t intended that way). 😕

But the thing is… Real, genuine connection can’t be developed or sustained if we are constantly on the defense.

True connection requires that we lean in, get curious, and try to stay open when the people we care about are sharing about their emotions and experiences (yes, even when we have a different perspective of the situation).

When someone you love shares about how they’ve been hurt… this isn’t a reflection of your worth… it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and pivot in ways that create deep safety and connection. ❤️‍🩹

Next time someone shares something difficult with you… Try this:

•Pause before responding: 
Take a breath before reacting. Remind yourself: “Their pain is not an attack. It’s an opportunity to understand them better.”

•Reflect and validate what you heard:
 Instead of defending, say, “I can hear you’re hurting,” or “I’m sorry my actions impacted you in that way. How can I show up better?”

•Regulate before you repair:
 If you feel triggered, step back. Take a breath. Ground yourself. Then come back to the conversation once your nervous system is calm enough to listen instead of react.

Look, this relationship stuff can be really hard (trust me… I know 😩).

However, showing up for the people we love, in the ways they need… is worth it.

Perfection isn’t a requirement. But mutual effort is. ❤️

Repost from @jasonrewired_ • I used to think every

Repost from @jasonrewired_
•
I used to think everything I do needs a reason.

A clear benefit. A measurable outcome.

If not… it feels like a waste of time.

But when I look back, the moments I remember the most were never the “useful” ones.

Late night conversations. Random trips. Sitting with people I care about, doing nothing.

On paper, they did nothing for my life.

But somehow… they became everything.

Maybe not everything needs to make sense.

Some things are just meant to be experienced.

#intentionalliving #perspective #mindsetshift #lifechoices #slowliving

Repost from @therapywithabby • These patterns didn

Repost from @therapywithabby
•
These patterns didn’t come out of nowhere.

You didn’t choose them - they’re ways your system learned to keep you safe.

At one point, they worked. They helped you stay connected, avoid conflict, feel safer, cope with uncertainty, get some of your needs met.

They made sense in the context you were in.

But what once *protected* you can quietly start to *limit* you.

Because over time, these strategies can begin to cost you:

🌀 anxiety
🌀 low self-worth
🌀 chronic stress
🌀 burnout
🌀 loneliness
🌀 resentment
🌀 constant self-criticism

And this is where the cycle can deepen.

As your nervous system becomes more overwhelmed, your window of tolerance - the range where you can handle stress without tipping into overwhelm - can start to shrink.

So you feel more easily activated, more easily drained, and more easily pulled into those same patterns that you *think* are trying to help you.

But this CAN shift.

You can build more capacity. So you’re not just on a hamster wheel of coping…but actually living with more ease, connection, and flexibility.

#trauma #burnout #patterns #overwhelm #cptsd

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration • Have you eve

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration
•
Have you ever thought you were just tired, but turns out you’d been running on empty for so long you forgot what full felt like?

Burnout creeps in slowly. It gets bigger and bigger the more you ignore it. Until it engulfes you and begins to take things from you. Your joy, your patience, the part of you that used to care. Until one day you’re you’re moving through your life on auto pilot. Showing up but you’re not really “there” anymore.

If you’re in it right now, stop waiting to rest until you think you’ve done enough to earn it. Rest is not the reward at the end. It’s the thing that allows you to keep going.

Say no to one thing this week. And don’t try to justify it or explain yourself to anyone.

Spend time doing things you love. Not to be productive, but to remember that the world is bigger than your to-do list.

And be patient with yourself. You didn’t get here overnight. You won’t get out overnight either. But you will get out.

#burnout #breakdown #trauma #therapy #cptsd

Repost from @kayatoastforthesoul.sg • Wrote this p

Repost from @kayatoastforthesoul.sg
•
Wrote this poem just this week, been thinking about the many people I’ve come to speak with.

Shame that lingers, shame that was not lost. Shame that still lasts while the years have gone on.

And maybe over time, you and I have learned to process it all. I hope that’s true for you, cause a life of shame is not a life at all.

And that’s that little talked about grief that sets in. The years that have gone by, years that we’ve lost and not lived.

Wondering maybe if things happened differently would I still be the same?

Maybe I could live a life without so much anguish and pain.

Now these are a lot for any one person to take, but to you out there going through the same?

I see you.

I feel you.

I want you to know you are heard.

Because we children of same don’t deserve to be alone in this all.

You deserve better.

I hope you find healing.

And I hope one day you’ll get to tell the child inside you.

“You were never to blame”.

(you were just a child)

With love,
Hernping

☁️

#shame #trauma #cptsd #abuse

Repost from @yourcourageouscomeback • Repairing se

Repost from @yourcourageouscomeback
•
Repairing self-trust is about changing the relationship you have with your own internal signals.

Most people lose self-trust because they learn to override themselves. Not once, but repeatedly.

You feel discomfort in your body, a tightening, a sinking feeling, a sense that something isn’t right. And then you explain it away.

You tell yourself you’re being dramatic, reactive, insecure, too much. Over time, your mind becomes louder than your body, and your body stops feeling like a reliable source of information.

Repairing self-trust begins when you stop arguing with what you feel.

That doesn’t mean acting on every emotion. It means acknowledging it without immediately dismissing it.

Letting your reaction exist without turning it into a problem to solve or a flaw to fix.

This is often deeply uncomfortable, because many people were only allowed to trust themselves when their feelings were convenient or agreeable to others.

Self-trust is rebuilt through follow-through, not insight.

👇1:1 COACHING + WORKSHOPS 👇

📌📌Together, we untangle these old patterns, teach your body what real safety feels like, and help you build boundaries that don’t collapse when someone pushes back.

You’ll stop chasing closure, stop second-guessing your worth, and start choosing relationships where you feel seen, heard, and valued.

🌱 for guidance on your healing journey follow me @yourcourageouscomeback 🌱

Repost from @michellcclark • Every generation inhe

Repost from @michellcclark
•
Every generation inherits a mixed bag—some beautiful wisdom, some outdated patterns, and a whole lot of “we did our best with what we knew.”

Our parents weren’t fortune-tellers. They couldn’t fully prepare us for the world that we would inherit, because it didn’t exist, yet.

They did their best with the tools they had at their disposal, the awareness they had access to, and the world they understood.

Just like us.

No matter how intentional we are, how much therapy we get, or how many books we read about conscious parenting—we’re going to have blind spots. We’re going to pass down some patterns we haven’t recognized yet.

We’re going to normalize things that our children will spend their adult years questioning.

This is the nature of generational progress.

We can’t raise children who never have to heal from their childhood, but we can raise children who know they deserve to heal.

Children who have language for their experiences.

Children who understand that questioning inherited norms isn’t betrayal.  We can’t raise kids who never need therapy, but we can raise kids who aren’t afraid to go.

Who see growth as normal, not shameful.

Who know that challenging inherited patterns isn’t an act of rebellion against the people who raised them.

Progress is the goal, even when it extends beyond our limitations to meet the next generation where they are.

Our children will look at things we’ve normalized and say “actually, let’s try something different.”

And instead of feeling defensive, we should feel proud—because we taught them to think for themselves.

The courage to question everything isn’t something we can “give” them—it’s something we model by questioning everything ourselves, including the parenting methods we think are “right.”

Every generation inherits both wisdom and wounds. Our job is to make sure the generation after us inherits better than what we received.

#parenting #courage #family #trauma

Repost from @drdenizpsyd • In dysfunctional family

Repost from @drdenizpsyd
•
In dysfunctional family systems, one of the most exhausting and invisible forms of labor is the constant effort to make someone understand what they fundamentally cannot — or will not — see.

We explain ourselves hoping this time it will land.
We soften our truth so it’s easier to receive.
We shrink what we know to make space for what they’re comfortable with.
And we call it trying.

But there’s a difference between healthy communication — repair, boundaries, honest expression — and the cyclical, depleting loop of trying to make someone see you who has already decided not to.

One is connection seeking.

The other is a trauma response dressed as hope.
The hardest part of this realization isn’t the anger.
It’s the grief.

Because underneath all of that explaining and shrinking and hoping — was a version of you that just wanted to be known by the people who were supposed to know you.

That grief is real.
It deserves to be honored, not bypassed.

And on the other side of it —
is something quieter and more solid than approval ever gave you.

When you stop contorting yourself to be understood by people who don’t have the capacity to see you
you start to hear yourself again.

Not the version of you shaped by their expectations.
Not the one performing for belonging.
The one that was always there…
before you learned to make yourself easier to accept.
That’s not abandonment.
That’s the beginning of coming home to yourself.

#trauma #therapy #family #relationships #cptsd

Repost from @hannahfrasermoore • Reparenting is th

Repost from @hannahfrasermoore
•
Reparenting is the process of taking responsibility for yourself in the places where you learned to leave yourself behind.

This is bone-deep psychic repair. It is feminist. Archetypal. Structural. Powerful & transformative. And it begins when you stay with yourself instead of leaving.

In every tale, the girl who wanders from the path (despite the many warnings) discovers herself.

Without the unwritten laws she has lived by, she finds herself as she is: teeth, courage, appetite, fire.

“Go out in the woods, go out. If you don’t go out in the woods, nothing will ever happen, and your life will never begin.” - Clarissa Pinkola Estés

The woods are waiting…🌲

Repost from @michellcclark • That voice questionin $Repost from @michellcclark • That voice questioning your worth isn’t telling the truth—it’s capitalism speaking through you, whispering lies about your value as a creator and as a human being. It’s this world’s ruthless obsession with profitability and attention over genuine impact and meaningful connection. It’s the metrics that quantify everything except what actually matters. It’s our collectively fractured attention spans, hollowed out by algorithms engineered to keep us scrolling. It’s art being quietly flattened into “content”—a sterile, corporate word that bleaches the humanity and vulnerability out of creative work. It’s the way people without a safety net are forced to optimize for survival instead of artistic integrity, making impossible choices between keeping the lights on and staying true to their vision. It’s the way we’re trained from the moment we unlock our phones to chase instant gratification in the form of likes and comments the second we press “post.” It’s the anxious refreshing, the compulsive checking, the way our sense of self becomes knotted up in numbers on a screen. It’s the creeping dread that we’ve done something wrong if we don’t receive the aforementioned instant gratification within minutes, within hours, within days. The first step to fixing a problem is naming its root causes with clarity and honesty. Only then can we begin to untangle ourselves from these toxic patterns and reclaim our creative autonomy.$

Wonderful reminders for when we need it 🥰🕊️ Repos

Wonderful reminders for when we need it 🥰🕊️

Repost from @primaltrust_official
•
If you have been sick for a long time, you know your body does not feel the same way every day. And what helps on one day can make another one worse.

Swipe through and find the state that matches where you are right now.

It does not take a huge commitment. Just a small pause for you and your nervous system. Two minutes done daily builds into real, lasting change.

#pause #trauma #cptsd #therapy #sick

Repost from @frank_andersonmd • A corrective exper

Repost from @frank_andersonmd
•
A corrective experience doesn’t always come from the person who hurt you. In a lot of cases, it doesn’t.

But it can come through a therapist, a safe person, a healing partner, a group, or even through the way you begin to show up differently for the part of you that is still carrying the pain.

And usually, it’s not one dramatic, Hollywood moment. It’s smaller moments over time that start to help the nervous system learn something new.

Healing is not only about talking about what happened. It’s also about finally receiving a different experience than the one that wounded you.

#therapy #trauma #cptsd #counselling #relationship

Some seasons of life ask so much of us. They ask u

Some seasons of life ask so much of us. They ask us to keep going while tired, to keep caring while overwhelmed, and to keep finding our footing in the midst of uncertainty.

In seasons like these, it can help to remember that there is something quietly precious within us that remains present through it all. Our inner goodness does not disappear on the hard days. Our beauty does not leave when life feels heavy. Our worth stays with us, and slowly, gently, we may begin to return to that knowing.

#trauma #cptsd #hope #therapy #flowers

Repost from @talk.trauma • There isn’t a moment wh

Repost from @talk.trauma
•
There isn’t a moment where trauma is suddenly “finished.”

Healing isn’t about deleting the past — it’s about changing the relationship you have with it.

Over time, your nervous system gains more flexibility.

You return to balance with more ease.
You grow into relationships that feel safe, reciprocal, and emotionally honest.

You meet yourself with more clarity, more compassion, and less fear.

Your past doesn’t disappear —
but it stops defining the direction of your life.

#trauma #cptsd #therapy #relationships

This matters. The most eye opening, meaningful con

This matters. The most eye opening, meaningful conversation was recently when my daughter courageously let me know that I was doing just this: making things about me. I truly valued that, no matter how hard it was to hear, I had no idea that’s what I was doing.

I’m trying to change that now - and whilst I know I will faulter, what I truly value is knowing so I can change. So my precious girl knows that her words matter. And that she deserves the space to be held.

Repost from @hannahfrasermoore
•
When a child brings something real to her parent, a problem, a difficulty, something painful or uncomfortable where she needs to be met, and the parent makes it all about themselves, the child is left alone with her pain.

If her suffering raises the parent’s anxiety, she is given a second task: the original problem and now, in addition, the emotional management of the parent.

Nothing here, is resolved. The child begins to anticipate the cost of her own experience and adjusts accordingly. Any vulnerability becomes associated with risk and is held back or diluted to preserve connection.

Outwardly, she may appear resilient and together. But her own experience is no longer assumed to be something that will be validated. It becomes something she must carry and fix alone.
#parenting #alone #daughter #motherhood

Repost from @healing.the.mosaic • Have you noticed

Repost from @healing.the.mosaic
•
Have you noticed people using therapy words online more than ever lately? 🤍

Words like boundaries, gaslighting, narcissist, triggered, accountability, projection, and toxic can be helpful when they are used accurately and with care. They can help people understand harmful patterns, trauma, relationships etc - although some should be mostly used by MH professionals because you can’t diagnose anyone with narcissistic personality disorder unless you are qualified.

But social media has also turned many of these words into trends, insults, catchphrases, or just different meanings altogether. Sometimes they get used to dismiss people, win arguments, avoid responsibility, or label others without understanding what the terms actually mean.

That can be especially harmful for survivors. When serious language is overused or misused, it can minimise real experiences and make genuine harm harder to recognise. Therapy language should create clarity, safety, understanding and healing, not confusion or superiority.

Have you noticed these words being misused online or in real life? 🤍

#trauma #therapy #cptsd #mentalhealth #dissociation

Repost from @psychologywithzara • Your nervous sys

Repost from @psychologywithzara
•
Your nervous system isn’t overreacting. It’s responding exactly the way it was trained to.

The home you grew up in didn’t just shape your memories. It shaped your biology. The way you read people. The way you brace for impact even when none is coming. The way calm can feel more unsettling than chaos.

A lot of people spend years wondering why they flinch at a certain tone of voice. Why they over-explain. Why they feel responsible for everyone’s mood in the room. Why they can’t fully relax even when life is genuinely okay.

The answer usually lives in an environment they didn’t choose. A childhood that required them to stay alert, stay small, stay ready. And a nervous system that got so good at that job it never stopped doing it.

This isn’t about blame. Most of the people who raised us were also running on dysregulated nervous systems they never had names for either.

But understanding what happened in your body, not just your mind, is where something starts to change. Slowly. Quietly. In ways that are hard to explain but impossible to miss.

You adapted to survive. Now you get to learn what it feels like to just live.

#trauma #hypervigilance #therapy #cptsd #fear

Repost from @thespiritualbeginning • Growing up te

Repost from @thespiritualbeginning
•
Growing up teaches you how to stand on your own… but it never really teaches you how to stop needing your mother.

There are days that feel completely ordinary — nothing wrong, nothing missing on the surface — and yet, somewhere in the quiet, your heart drifts back to her. Not because you’re weak, but because some bonds don’t fade with age… they deepen.

It’s in the smallest memories — the way she asked if you’ve eaten, the comfort in her voice, the unspoken understanding that you never had to explain yourself. That kind of love doesn’t leave you… it lives within you.

We learn to carry responsibilities, to make decisions, to face the world with strength. But beneath all that strength, there’s still a softer place… a part of you that just wants to rest, to be cared for, to feel safe without having to pretend you’re okay.

And maybe that’s not something to outgrow.
Maybe that’s something to honor.

Because no matter how far you go or how strong you become… there will always be a part of you that finds its way back home to her. 🤍

#missher #home #mum #innerchild

Repost from @mindfulmft • If you’re with someone l

Repost from @mindfulmft
•
If you’re with someone long enough, you’ll face hard times together. You will inevitably feel disconnected at times. You’ll feel disappointed and let down, under appreciated or deprioritized.

You’ll feel unacknowledged or taken for granted. You’ll face hardship, loss, grief, confusion, and much more. The examples are endless. But what you do with these experiences is absolutely vital to the health and security of your relationship.

We don’t teach the value and the skillset of repair. For so many of us, we didn’t see it modeled in our childhoods and we certainly didn’t learn about it in school. And now, we’re left with an atrophied muscle that thinks avoiding conflict, brushing it under the rug, letting enough time pass, winning, dominating, or proving your point is the way. It’s not.

Repair says “Let’s figure this out together”. It says “Your experience is just as important as my experience and vice versa.” It says, “We find our way back when we’re both regulated.” It says, “We know that hard moments won’t break us.” It says, “I want to learn more about your story that informs this moment for you.” It says, “I have the capacity to take ownership, acknowledge, and apologize.” It says, “Hard moments actually allow me to learn something new about myself and you, and I’m curious as to what that is.”

But repair is easier said than done. And what I find really helpful as a starting point is to identify the constraints to repair. What gets in the way? What keeps me from repairing with you? For so many who struggle with repair, it’s because we have a history with conflict that doesn’t feel safe. Conflict and hard moments in our past mean something - abandonment, punishment, abuse, disconnect, loss of power, and so forth. Might you start here?

Repair might feel so entirely unfamiliar to you. It’s not a lived experience or something you can even trust in your body. So big breaths as you work your way towards a new way of being and relating. #mindfulness

#trauma

Repost from @thesimplestself • Sometimes people le

Repost from @thesimplestself
•
Sometimes people leave therapy expecting to feel lighter immediately.
And sometimes that does happen.
But other times something different unfolds.

A session opens material that has been held in the nervous system for a long time. The conversation may end, but your body is still processing what came up.

You might feel more emotional that evening. More tired the next day. A little more open or vulnerable.
Nothing has gone wrong when this happens.

Your system may simply be in a period of integration.

Therapy does not only live inside the session itself. The nervous system often continues working with what was touched for hours or days afterward.

This is why slowing down after deeper sessions can matter so much. Small things that help the body settle often support the work just as much as the insight itself.
Sometimes feeling tender after therapy is not a setback.

It is part of the process of something finally having space to move.

✨#trauma #therapy #cptsd #recovery #space

Repost from @nicolajanehobbs • There was a time in

Repost from @nicolajanehobbs
•
There was a time in my life where, no matter what I did, I always felt guilty.

And then a therapist I was working with at the time told me that we feel guilty anytime we break a rule. And sometimes those rules aren’t actually in line with our values or what we care about. They are simply rules we have internalised from the world around us.

And so now, when I feel guilty, instead of immediately assuming I’ve done something wrong, I ask myself:

“Did I violate my values or just an inherited rule? Am I out of alignment with what matters to me or simply not living up to other people’s expectations?”

What do you often feel guilty about that might be a sign that you’re freeing yourself from internalised rule?

♥️

Repost from @the.love.therapist • If you wonder, “

Repost from @the.love.therapist
•
If you wonder, “Why do I shut down when someone gets angry?” it’s often because somewhere along the way, you learned to shut down your own anger. ⁠
⁠
You learned that anger was scary, dangerous, unpredictable, something that hurts people or destroys relationships. ⁠
⁠
So you suppressed your anger, you adapted, and you fawn, people-please, freeze or shut down, especially when someone is angry. Not because you’re weak, but because you learned that anger meant danger. ⁠
⁠
And it’s true, some people do use anger in destructive ways to intimidate, dominate, control, or punish. ⁠
⁠
If that’s what you witnessed or experienced, it makes sense that anger feels threatening to you. ⁠
⁠
But anger itself is not the problem. ⁠
⁠
Unconscious anger is the problem. Suppressed anger is the problem. Weaponized anger is the problem. ⁠
⁠
When a person has reclaimed a healthy relationship with their anger, anger becomes clarity. It becomes self-protection, and boundary-setting, and the courage to hold your ground and speak your truth. ⁠
⁠
When you are connected to your own anger, you no longer collapse in the face of someone else’s. You stay present, clear, rooted in yourself. Grounded with your own personal bubble of space, not taking their energy into your space, but receiving the information of their communication. ⁠
⁠
This changes everything. It changes your relationships, what you tolerate, how you move through the world, and what you create. ⁠
⁠
Because when you reclaim your anger, you reclaim your voice, your dignity, and your power to take a stand for yourself and your life. ⁠
⁠
#anger #reclaim #empowerment #hope #woman

Repost from @christabelmintahgalloway • Being easy

Repost from @christabelmintahgalloway
•
Being easy to love is not the same thing as being known. That’s the trap. You can be the most “mature” person in the room and still feel lonely because you’re not actually in the room as yourself. You’re in the room as a peacekeeper.

Individuation is the work. It’s not a dramatic reinvention. It’s you separating what’s yours from what was installed. It’s you saying one plain sentence without the pre-apology and staying present while the awkwardness passes.

#trauma #guilt #self #cptsd #therapy

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration • I used to th

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration
•
I used to think the goal was to come out the other side without any scars. I don’t think that anymore.

There’s a Japanese practice called kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold.

Not to hide the cracks.
Not to pretend it never broke.

But to honour what it’s been through.

The break becomes part of the story.
The repair becomes something beautiful.

Maybe we’re not meant to hide the parts of us that broke.
They’re the parts of us that show where we’ve lived, what we’ve survived, and how deeply we’ve loved.

And they’re what make us more human.

What’s a crack in you that turned into something beautiful?

Repost from @eroiakimcoaching • There’s a trauma r

Repost from @eroiakimcoaching
•
There’s a trauma response no one talks about. It’s not the hypervigilance or the freeze. It’s the numbness. The quiet disconnection from everything that once made life feel alive.

When you’ve been hurt by what was supposed to feel good, you start to associate feeling with danger. So your brain shuts it all down. Not just pain, but pleasure and joy too.

This is trauma protection, not a flaw, and with time, you can learn to feel safe in aliveness again.

Repost from @talk.trauma • So much of what becomes

Repost from @talk.trauma
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So much of what becomes traumatising isn’t just what happened —
it’s that we had to hold the fear, confusion, and pain alone.

When there is no safe other to turn to, the nervous system does what it must to keep us functioning. Dissociation, emotional shutdown, or becoming “strong and independent” were not personality traits — they were protective adaptations in the absence of co-regulation.

Over time, these adaptations shape how we relate to ourselves, to others, and to the world. Many people grow into adulthood questioning whether their way of being is truly them — or an identity formed around staying safe, acceptable, and connected.

Healing doesn’t ask us to revisit the pain without support.
It asks for the opposite: to not have to hold it alone anymore.

Being gently witnessed by someone emotionally safe, attuned, and responsive allows the nervous system to soften, integrate, and finally feel what was once too overwhelming to process.

You didn’t “fail” to cope.
You coped without the support you deserved.

If this landed for you, it may be time to find spaces where you don’t have to hold it alone anymore. You’re allowed to have support now.

#complextrauma #cptsd #trauma #trauma #attachment

From @jefffosterofficial Finally, I’d say that i

From @jefffosterofficial

Finally, I’d say that it really is fucking brave to choose to stay awake, tender, open-hearted and curious in a world that keeps asking you to shut down.

- Jeff Foster

Repost from @thefeelingexpert • Most people do not

Repost from @thefeelingexpert
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Most people do not lash out because they are cruel. They lash out because something inside them feels threatened.

What shows up on the outside as anger, defensiveness, frustration, criticism, or shutting down is often covering something much more vulnerable underneath. Fear. Shame. Insecurity. Helplessness. The pain of not feeling seen, respected, wanted, safe, or in control.

That is what makes emotional reactions so confusing. The reaction looks big, but the deeper feeling underneath is often something a person has never fully named.

A sharp tone. A passive-aggressive comment. An overreaction to something small. A sudden outburst in the middle of an ordinary conversation. These moments usually are not just about what is happening right now. They are often connected to something older. Something unresolved. A fear of being rejected. A fear of not mattering. A fear of being blamed, exposed, abandoned, dismissed, or misunderstood.

When those fears live under the surface long enough, the nervous system starts reacting before the conscious mind has time to catch up.

Frustration becomes the quicker emotion.

Anger becomes the safer one.
Control becomes the strategy.
Defensiveness becomes protection.

#protection #therapy #frustration #anger #outburst

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Chele Yntema is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Trauma Specialist.

In the spirit of reconciliation I acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. I pay my respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. I am committed to inclusion across race, culture, ethnicity, gender, sex, sexuality, religion, and ability. I recognise that people from diverse communities face systemic barriers and seek to challenge the current system and strive for change that makes mental health and wellbeing accessible to and inclusive for all.

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