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Knowing yourself
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Aristotle

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chele_yntema

I offer psychotherapy for Burnout, Breakdown, & Trauma. Connection, Compassion, & Clarity that moves you toward a life of joyous wonder & hope.

Repost from @psychologyfocus • Empathy is often tr

Repost from @psychologyfocus
•
Empathy is often treated as a single trait you either have or lack.

But the brain processes empathy through three distinct systems.

Cognitive empathy lets you understand what someone feels without feeling it yourself.

Affective empathy makes you absorb their emotions into your own body.

Compassionate empathy moves you from feeling to action.

Most people are strong in one and underdeveloped in the others.

This is why some people seem caring but leave you feeling unseen.

They may feel your pain deeply but lack the regulation to respond helpfully.

Others understand you perfectly but remain emotionally distant.

The most supportive people balance all three.

They understand, they feel, and they act.

This balance can be learned with intention and practice.

Further Reading
Decety, J., & Ickes, W. (2009). The Social Neuroscience of Empathy. MIT Press.
Bloom, P. (2016). Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. Ecco.
Singer, T., & Klimecki, O. M. (2014). Empathy and compassion. Current Biology, 24(18), R875–R878. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2014.06.054

Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only. Please consult a qualified professional before applying any material contained.

Repost from @lindsaybraman • There are so many val

Repost from @lindsaybraman
•
There are so many valid reasons to be angry right now, and it wouldn’t be surprising if you’ve noticed it boiling over lately. Caring for the ways we allow, acknowledge, and express anger can channel it away from being a destructive force and into being a constructive one that moves us into meaningful action, community building, and strategizing to protect the most vulnerable.

I appreciate therapist’s Bronwyn Schweigerdt’s understanding of anger, captured in this sketchnote as she describes how we hold anger, express (or don’t express it) and how we can work with it effectively. If you’d like more information, you can listen to the full podcast I created this doodle from (“from repression to expression” clearly clinical podcast) or check out Bronwyn Schweigerdt’s own podcast: Angry at the Right Things.

Repost from @boundariedbootcamp • Compassionate pe

Repost from @boundariedbootcamp
•
Compassionate people, keep feeling your feelings. Your emotions are NOT a pathology; they are a barometer.

❤️ Your sensitivity to cruelty and injustice is a gift to this world (not a weakness).

🌎 Your heart for the good of humanity is a north star (not naivety or foolishness).

🔥 Your ability to see through power games and manipulation is a strength (one sorely needed).

Stay strong in your truth.

Take regular breaks for dancing, crying, hugging, and snacks.

And then keep going.

We are the change the world needs. ✨

❤️
Molly
Boundaries for Compassionate People

Repost from @jessicabaumlmhc • Awareness is the fi

Repost from @jessicabaumlmhc
•
Awareness is the first stage of healing, but it’s also the most uncomfortable. Suddenly your brain starts to recognize your own patterns in real time, but your body is still wired to live them out.

This gap between insight and integration can feel disorienting. You can see the trigger, understand the cycle, and even name the part of you reacting, but still find yourself doing the thing you swore you wouldn’t do… again.

Why does this happen? Insight happens in the prefrontal cortex, which is the logical, reflective part of your brain.

Behavior, however, lives in the limbic system, which is the emotional and procedural patterns wired through repetition, often since childhood.

So when you say, “I know better, but I still did it,” what you’re really experiencing is the lag between knowing and rewiring.

Neuroplasticity is in progressing here. Integration takes time, repetition, and safety.

Repost from @no.more.pleasing • If you’ve ever sai

Repost from @no.more.pleasing
•
If you’ve ever said “I’m fine” while mentally drafting a 9-paragraph text you’ll never send—This one’s for you.

Low boundary capacity isn’t about being weak. It’s about your brain thinking “no” = danger.

So when your boss asks for “one more thing” at 5:58 PM, or your mom says “I already told everyone you’re coming”—
Your mouth says yes.
Your brain screams no.

And you spend the next 3 days mad at yourself.

If your brain goes blank every time someone pushes back on your boundary you need the exact words ready.

Repost from @healing.the.mosaic • CPTSD can feel l

Repost from @healing.the.mosaic
•
CPTSD can feel like living with invisible rules you didn’t agree to… but still follow every day.

Not because you’re dramatic.
Not because you’re “too sensitive.”
But because your nervous system learned what it had to do to stay safe.

If you relate to this, you’re not alone 🤍
And you’re not broken for still running old survival programming.

I think this reins true for men as well - we all t

I think this reins true for men as well - we all to some extent have learned socioculturaly what was expected of us. Feminine or masculine - the shadow forms from hidden vitality and our aliveness that was excited in order to belong.

Repost from @aileyjolie
•
The shadow didn’t form because something in you was wrong.

For many women, the shadow isn’t made of darkness. It’s made of everything that was too alive to be allowed. The no that disrupted harmony. The rage that made others uncomfortable. The hunger, ambition, desire, and power that threatened the roles you were meant to play.

So you learned goodness. You learned to smile when you wanted to scream. To give when you wanted to take. To shrink when you wanted to expand. Not because you were weak, but because you were paying attention to what the world rewarded.

That energy didn’t disappear. It went underground. Into the shadow. Where it kept shaping your choices, your relationships, your sense of self.

Shadow work for women isn’t about confronting something ugly. It’s about recognizing what had to be hidden in order to belong. And slowly, carefully, letting that life come back into the light.

Not to cause harm.
But to reclaim yourself.

The shape of what gets pushed into the shadow is not the same for everyone. Gender, race, class, body size, ability, sexuality, and culture all influence which parts of a person are labeled “too much” and which are punished most severely when expressed. For some, aliveness was discouraged. For others, it was actively dangerous. This reflection speaks to a pattern, not a universal experience. Take what resonates, adapt what feels useful, and leave what doesn’t.

Swipe to read more.

Introverts unite - Repost from @moonaries.illo

Introverts unite - Repost from @moonaries.illo

Repost from @awakenwithally • Q: “Why does my body

Repost from @awakenwithally
•
Q: “Why does my body still feel triggered, even with so much healing work?”

The true aim of inner work isn’t healing. It’s inner connection. Inner work is an invitation to come closer to yourself, including to your body, even when it still feels triggered, reactive, or distant.

Let everything you engage with in the name of healing move you toward self-connection, not away from it.

Touch your body not only to release the stress of the day, but to offer something that may have been missing for a long time: presence, care, and recognition. Touch your body because for years it may have been neglected, dismissed, or met only through urgency or fixing.

If you feel a sense of disconnect when you do this, let that be here too. Don’t force closeness. Notice the distance. Accept where you are. Being aware of the disconnect and allowing it to make sense and exist, it is a form of connection.

Frustration with a triggered body often points to layers of disconnection from the body. The body isn’t asking to be fixed. It’s asking for the connection it never felt.

Place a hand on your body and say, softly, “I see you now. I’m here with you.” Then notice what your presence does. How does it feel for your body to be acknowledged without being rushed or corrected?

You can be deeply connected to your body and still experience triggers. In fact, with more connection, triggers often become clearer, softer and arise earlier. But they’re met differently. With more space. Less fear. More understanding. The body feels heard.

Don’t aspire to an experience where your body isn’t triggered. Aspire to an experience where your body is triggered, and you can still remain connected.

You can be deeply connected and still unhealed in the ways you want to be healed. Healing is what naturally emerges when inner connection is more present.

Love,
Ally

Repost from @drjaninafisher • The Structural Disso

Repost from @drjaninafisher
•
The Structural Dissociation Model, created by Onno van der Hart, Ellert Nijenhuis, and Kathy Steele, proposes that splitting occurs because of the brain’s innate ‘fault lines’ dictated by its differentiated structures and their functional specialization. Though children are born with both hemispheres intact, they are right brain dominant for most of childhood.

In addition, the corpus callosum, the brain structure that makes possible right brain-left brain communication, only becomes fully elaborated after age twelve. Thus, in the early years of childhood, right brain experience occurs relatively independent of left brain experience, a hypothesis supported by research demonstrating a correlation between abuse and/or neglect in children and under-development of the corpus callosum compared to normal controls.

This finding would support the view that adaptation to trauma necessitates a longer period of parallel development of right and left brains, resulting in deficits in integration between the two hemispheres.

It’s the trauma from what was misusing which is of

It’s the trauma from what was misusing which is often the most ambiguous and precarious… I refer to this as “ambiguous trauma”

Repost from @frank_andersonmd
•
Some wounds are obvious. Others form quietly, in what never happened.

Patterns like over explaining, difficulty asking for help, or feeling uncomfortable taking up space didn’t come out of nowhere. They often formed in response to what was missing earlier on.

Moments where feelings weren’t met. Where protection didn’t show up. Where support wasn’t available.

This didn’t come from one dramatic event. It came from what was missing over time.

For many people, healing doesn’t start with changing these patterns. It starts with understanding them. When your story finally makes sense, self blame tends to soften and compassion becomes possible.

This isn’t about fault or rewriting the past. It’s about helping the nervous system learn that strategies formed for survival don’t have to run the present.

That’s what integration looks like.

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration • Burying ange

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration
•
Burying anger doesn’t make it disappear.
It just forces it to wait.

And when it comes back, it comes back louder.
It’s not trying to hurt you.
It’s trying to be heard.

You just have to listen.
Without being judgmental.
And with compassion.

That’s when anger stops feeling like fire and starts becoming light.

Repost from @jenpeters_soulguide_healer • Today, p

Repost from @jenpeters_soulguide_healer
•
Today, people see the steely exterior. They feel the rigidity. They sense the anger bubbling underneath.

But the truth is, she’s misunderstood.

She has every right to feel the way she does, given the way she’s been treated.

What she really needs is to be seen, heard + validated.

To feel safe enough to share what she’s been through - so that she can finally release the grief, sadness + invalidation she’s been carrying since she was a child.

When she has this space held for her, she can finally release the anger.

When she feels safe, she can finally soften.

When she softens, she can finally receive the love + support that’s here for her.

IF this feels resonant for you want you to know, I’m sorry you were treated this way - you didn’t deserve it.

It wasn’t your fault. The family you were raised in never learnt how to process their emotions, therefore they weren’t able to hold space for yours either.

You don’t need to continue carrying this pain or keeping people at a distance. You deserve to feel safe, supported, held + loved too.

Much love,

Jen xo

Repost from @aileyjolie • What if the harshest voi

Repost from @aileyjolie
•
What if the harshest voice in your head isn’t actually yours?

The one that sounds like reason. Like standards. Like the part of you that just wants you to be better. The one that knows exactly where you’re most vulnerable and presses there first.

Listen to what it says. Too much. Not enough. Too loud. Too visible. Too hungry. Who do you think you are?

That voice didn’t come from nowhere. It was learned in a system that trained women to monitor themselves, to shrink themselves, to police their own bodies, desires, and ambitions before anyone else had to do it for them.

The inner critic isn’t a personal flaw or a failure of confidence. It’s internalized authority. Surveillance that moved inside and started using your own voice.

It keeps guard over the exact places where your power lives.

The work isn’t to fight that voice or silence it by force. It’s to question it. To ask whose voice this really is. Who benefits from you believing it. And what might become possible if you stopped mistaking it for truth.

Underneath it is another voice. Quieter. Older. The one that knows your body isn’t a problem, your hunger isn’t shameful, and your bigness isn’t a threat.

That voice is yours.

This - it never as easy as words Repost from @the

This - it never as easy as words

Repost from @thefeelingexpert
•
You don’t stay because you don’t know it’s hurting you.
You stay because some part of you is scared of what happens if you don’t.

When people say things like, “You deserve better,” or “Just leave,” it can feel almost insulting. As if it’s that simple. If it were, you’d already be gone.

There’s a part of you that learned, a long time ago, that asking for more comes with a cost. That when you want consistency, or clarity, or effort, something gets taken away. Attention. Warmth. Safety. Sometimes even the whole relationship.

So even thinking about speaking up can make your chest tighten. Your mind starts running ahead of you.
What if I’m asking too much?
What if this is all I get?
What if I end up alone again?

And underneath all of that is something even more painful. A belief that says, this might be as good as it gets. Not because you believe it logically, but because it’s what your nervous system expects.

So you adapt.

You wait instead of asking.
You explain things that don’t need explaining.
You shrink what you need so it sounds more reasonable.
You tell yourself it’s fine. You’ve handled worse.

You’re doing it because staying feels safer than risking loss. Because some part of you learned that connection is fragile, and your job is to keep it from breaking.

And that part doesn’t know yet that you’re allowed to want a relationship where you don’t have to work this hard just to be considered. Where you don’t have to disappear to keep someone close.

It takes so much courage in this journey - to even

It takes so much courage in this journey - to even take that first step toward clarity holds true honouring and integrity toward Self.

Repost from @the_traumacoach
•
Clarity begins when you slow down enough to observe what is actually happening rather than what you hope is happening.

It grows as you stop filling in gaps with assumptions, excuses, or optimism and instead look honestly at patterns, consistency, and follow-through.

Clarity deepens when you ask direct questions and pay attention to the responses without editing them to feel safer.

It sharpens when you notice how your body responds—tension, confusion, calm, or relief often signal truth before your mind catches up.

Clarity strengthens when you compare words to actions and let actions carry more weight.

It settles when you accept what is revealed, even if it disrupts plans, attachments, or expectations.

Repost from @frank_andersonmd • A question I hear

Repost from @frank_andersonmd
•
A question I hear all the time is, “Why do I react like this when I know better?”

Not necessarily in extreme situations, but in everyday ones. A conversation. A tone. A moment of pressure.

What this post is really about is not labeling reactions. It’s showing how quickly the body moves to protect and how little choice we have in that moment.

These patterns didn’t come from nowhere. They formed in real relationships, under real conditions, when your system was doing its best to adapt.

The work is not to get rid of them. It’s to help the nervous system learn that it doesn’t have to work that hard anymore.

And that’s when you can respond instead of just react.

Repost from @the.holistic.psychologist • Capabilit

Repost from @the.holistic.psychologist
•
Capability is an overlooked love language. It says I TRUST YOU— and trust is the most pure form of love.

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration • Ugh. It's me

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration
•
Ugh. It's me, Anger.

I don’t ask you to yell.
I don’t ask you to explode.
I ask you to stop lying to yourself about what hurts.

Every time you ignore me, you pay for it later.
In your body.
In your mind.

Listening to me doesn’t make you cruel.
It makes you honest.

And honesty is how you stop the pain.

I’m not here to burn everything down.
I am here to help you build a life that feels safer, truer, and finally stops hurting to live.

Repost from @the.trauma.educator • Trauma doesn’t

Repost from @the.trauma.educator
•
Trauma doesn’t resolve just as a result of feeling our feelings.

Trauma resolution is supported as the nervous system receives signals of orientation that communicate the danger is no longer happening now.

Here’s what each of the five signals could look like in real life.

🌱Present-time safety

When emotion comes up, you don’t just stay inside it endlessly. You also let your eyes move around the room. You notice light, sound, temperature, the floor under your feet. That sensory input tells your body: this is now, not then.

🌱Choice

Instead of only being overtaken by a feeling unexpectedly, you enter it intentionally. “I’m going to feel sadness for a moment.” Feeling because you choose to interrupts the sense of being trapped.

🌱Agency

As you feel an emotion, you notice how your body wants to act – not just forcing any act through the mind. What is the impulse? You press your feet into the ground. You push with your arms. Or let your voice come out. These actions teach your nervous system: I am not helpless now.

🌱Completion

You don’t only notice when the emotion is intense. You also notice when it starts to settle. You feel the exhale, the softening, the opening. That lets your body register: the wave has passed.

🌱Internal boundaries

You don’t force yourself to feel everything all at once. You sense when it’s enough for now and take a break by shifting your attention elsewhere. That creates safety inside the experience instead of retraumatization.

You don’t just decide to do any of these and you do them with ease. This is a set of skills your nervous system learns over time.

You practice them, slowly and repeatedly, until your body starts to trust them.

With practice, these signals become easier, more natural, and more available when you need them.

Effie 🦋

Repost from @ifstherapy_annavincentz • Therapy is

Repost from @ifstherapy_annavincentz
•
Therapy is not about changing who you are.
It’s about becoming who you are.
The difficult reactions, feelings, behaviors are not who you are, but often come from important and creative survival strategies from childhood. They are showing you what needs connection and healing, not what’s wrong with you or what needs to change.
The change that may happen as a result of inner work, connection and healing in therapy, is a movement towards YOU, not a changing of who you are.

#youareenough

Repost from @the.yellow.jacket.girl • Sometimes it

Repost from @the.yellow.jacket.girl
•
Sometimes it feels like you’re lost.
Like everyone else got a map to life and you didn’t.

The road zigs and zags. The fog rolls in thick.
Some paths bend because they’re teaching you something.
Some journeys wander because they’re leading you back to yourself.

Keep going.
You don’t need certainty to move forward.
You just need trust in yourself.

This - there is a part of me that wishes she could

This - there is a part of me that wishes she could travel back and give this message to my 17-32 year old self… so much lost in not seeing the reality.

Though i still see and hold people’s potential and also hold their ways of being with respect, i now als hold mine with equal weight.

I matter too.

Repost from @yourcourageouscomeback
•
Calling all EMPATHS 🎙️

When boundaries are porous, emotionally attuned people absorb what isn’t theirs:

other people’s moods, defensiveness, avoidance, and lack of accountability.

Instead of observing reality, they explain it away.

Instead of discerning, they accommodate.

Over time, empathy without structure leads to chronic overwhelm, resentment, and self-abandonment-not deeper connection.

Healthy empathy requires containment.

Boundaries are what keep empathy clean and sustainable, rather than fused or rescuing.

When boundaries are weak, empathy turns into over-functioning; when boundaries are strong, empathy becomes discerning and self-respecting.

This is the difference between emotional access and emotional safety. Learning to hold compassion and limits allows you to stay connected to others without disconnecting from yourself and to choose relationships based on reality, not potential.

Repost from @annacozysoul • Sometimes we look back

Repost from @annacozysoul
•
Sometimes we look back with judgment, wishing we had chosen differently, spoken differently, been braver or wiser.

But the truth is - you made the best choices you could
with the awareness, strength, and love you had at that moment.

Growth doesn’t mean blaming who you were.

It means honoring her.
Thanking her.
Being gentle with her.

Your past was doing its best
to bring you here 🤍

Save this if your heart needs softness today.

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration • Most people

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration
•
Most people lose hope because they’ve been disappointed too many times and they are tired of believing. So when someone says “I don’t feel hopeful,” what they often mean is, “I don’t want to be hurt again.”

You don’t have to believe anything right now. You don’t have to try harder. You don’t have to see the future.

You just have to make it through today. That is hope doing its quiet, stubborn job.

Repost from @thefeelingexpert • When someone has e

Repost from @thefeelingexpert
•
When someone has experienced relational trauma, neglect, inconsistency, or emotional unpredictability, certain parts become highly attuned to signs of danger in relationships.

So when a person’s tone shifts, when they go quiet, when their energy feels different, your system doesn’t pause to assess the present moment. It reacts to the past.

Your brain asks one urgent question:
“Am I about to be hurt?”

The logical part of the brain that helps with perspective and reasoning steps aside. The survival system takes over. That’s when panic, shame, or self-blame rush in before you’ve had a chance to think.

The nervous system shifts into survival mode. That’s why reactions can feel sudden, emotional, and hard to control.
It’s not about now. It’s about back then and its happening again in your nervous system. They are the result of parts of the system being activated by cues that once signaled threat.

At the core of these reactions are exiled parts: younger, vulnerable parts that carry memories of rejection, shame, abandonment, or emotional harm.

These exiles hold the emotional pain that was too overwhelming to process at the time it occurred.

The first step isn’t correcting the thought or calming the feeling.

It’s recognizing what’s happening. The work is not to eliminate these parts, it’s to help them trust that safety no longer depends on constant vigilance.

When you can say, “This is a trauma response, and its a part of me stepping into protect me,” something shifts. You begin to learn how to feel safe, even when triggered.

Repost from @christabelmintahgalloway • We often t

Repost from @christabelmintahgalloway
•
We often think of “Repair” as something we say.

“I’m sorry.”
“I messed up.”

But Repair isn’t just a sentence. It is a skill set.

And for most of us, it is a skill we never learned. We learned to defend our intentions (“I didn’t mean it!”). We learned to perform guilt to get out of trouble. We learned to rush the other person to “get over it” so we could stop feeling uncomfortable.

Real repair is slower than that.

Real repair requires the somatic capacity to sit with the discomfort of having hurt someone, without collapsing into shame or exploding into defensiveness.

It requires the humility to ask, “What do you need to feel safe again?”, and the discipline to actually do that thing.

Repost from @the.trauma.educator • Being raised wi

Repost from @the.trauma.educator
•
Being raised with complex trauma means that from a very young age, we witness contradictions, emotional incongruence, shadows, and inconsistencies.

What’s said doesn’t match what’s felt.

What’s promised doesn’t align with what happens.

Safety is inconsistent.

The nervous system adapts by orienting itself outward.

This was a survival necessity, and what we call exteroception; the nervous system’s capacity to read cues from the external world: tone of voice, micro-expressions, emotional shifts, atmosphere, what’s being avoided or denied.

We learned to read people and environments with unusual depth because we had to.

That’s why as an adult we might:

feel uneasy about someone everyone else adores
sense a disconnect long before it’s visible
notice dynamics others dismiss and later be proven right by facts and behaviour

And yet, because these perceptions are often subtle and unspoken, and because others don’t see them, we learn to doubt ourselves.

We tell ourselves we’re projecting.
We pathologise our perception.
We disconnect from our own knowing.
We call ourselves oversensitive or even crazy.

Healing doesn’t mean disconnecting from our sensitivity. It’s learning to trust our perception without being ruled by it.

To discern what is trauma-based projection vs. what is accurate, present-moment information.

To turn perceptiveness into grounded wisdom rather than constant monitoring.

Repost from @hannahfrasermoore • We tend to think

Repost from @hannahfrasermoore
•
We tend to think anxiety is about the future. About what could go wrong. About what might be lost.

Psychodynamically, that is rarely the whole story.

Much fear is reactive. It forms after something has already happened. After loss, misattunement, abandonment, or the moment the self learned what it cost to belong. The psyche does not forget these moments. It stays alert to them. Fear becomes a way of preventing repetition.

This is why reassurance often fails. Fear isn’t asking whether something will happen. It is remembering that something once did.

Winnicott showed us that when the environment cannot receive the true self, adaptation follows. A way of being develops that preserves attachment by limiting expression. That self is loyal. It kept relationship intact when aliveness carried risk.

Later in life, fear resurfaces at moments of change, because change threatens to reopen an old wound. Fear here, narrows perception, collapses nuance, freezes time. It pulls the adult psyche back to the age when there was no choice, no leverage, no safe return.

The overlooked truth is this: you have already survived what you are afraid of. That survival is evidence of capacity, not a warning to stay where you are.

When fear is recognised as memory, something re-enters the room: time. The present. The adult self who can choose differently now.

From this place, movement no longer requires force. It becomes possible because the past no longer gets to decide the future.

Any untagged artists let me know so I can credit.
✨🩷🙏

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration • Real hope si

Repost from @hollyhatamillustration
•
Real hope sits beside you when things feel heavy.

It lets you feel sad without shame.
It lets the truth be spoken instead of swallowed.

If hope feels tiring, it’s often because you were taught it meant pretending.
Smiling through pain.
Moving on too fast.
Burying your feelings.

Hope begins when you stop arguing with how hard this has been.

When you let sadness have a voice, without letting it take over the room.
When you sit with your feelings instead of trying to make them disappear.

And one day, you’ll look back and realise that you survived all the hard stuff.

That’s how hope grows.

Together we soften and we slow… we listen and we n

Together we soften and we slow… we listen and we nurture all that arises - even if that may be the need to keep pace - we hear that and hold that with care.

Repost from @lexyflorentina
•
So many of us are deeply conditioned to move through life urgently. Impulsively making decisions, pushing through things despite it not feeling right, rushing from one thing to the next, ruminating on all the things you need to do before time runs out.

Maybe you know this feeling all too well. I know i do.

Growing up, everything was urgent.

Whether it was getting to school, the grocery store or even making dinner. There was always a gasping, rushing, intensity about it. And with that a voice from the outside world always speaking the same language.

It wasn’t long before I learned to move from this same pace. Scarcity was right beside it.

And so we learn to feel a sense of control when we get ahead, when we rush, and push and move with urgency. But really it’s not control at all, it’s fear of failure. And the cost is high. Our health, our peace, our relationships, our desires, our needs, our confidence, all are affected by this survival response to push.

When this is the case for us, it can feel as if slowing down or even the thought of not pushing forward and taking our time feels foreign. Our body stifles in response because there truly hasn’t been a time when this was okay. Or atleast that’s how it appeared.

But I want to remind you, and offer you a chance to sense how now, right now, there is enough time for you.

Even if it’s just for a moment. Your body is worthy of slowing down.

And when we do so, especially in a world that always seems like it’s running a million miles a minute - we show our system something new and something possible.

Repost from @famimind_ • I wasn’t born confused ab

Repost from @famimind_
•
I wasn’t born confused about who I am.
I was raised in a home where my worth depended on who they needed me to be not who I really was.

Where survival meant silence.
Where love had rules.
Where being “good” meant disappearing.

Healing isn’t about reinventing yourself.
It’s remembering the version of you who existed before the fear, the guilt, and the performance.

It’s giving that version a voice and finally listening.

So if you’re lost right now, please know this:
You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
You’re meeting yourself for the very first time.

Save this if you’ve ever felt like a stranger in your own skin.

Love,
Anaishe Rose 🌹

Repost from @the_traumacoach • Implied communicati

Repost from @the_traumacoach
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Implied communication happens when someone tries to send a message without actually saying it.

They hint, posture, withhold, or arrange situations so you are supposed to “pick up” what they mean.

Instead of using clear words, they rely on tone, timing, silence, or implication to communicate

This shifts the burden of understanding onto you.

It is exhausting because your nervous system stays on high alert.

You are constantly scanning for meaning, danger, or hidden messages.
Your mind works overtime replaying conversations and analyzing behavior.

You feel pressure to decode, interpret, and respond “correctly” to something that was never clearly stated.

Over time, this creates confusion, self-doubt, and emotional fatigue.

You begin questioning your perceptions instead of trusting them.

You spend more energy managing ambiguity than living your life.

To stop trying to figure out what is being said, you must return responsibility to the speaker.

Healthy communication uses words, not puzzles.

If something is not stated plainly, you are not required to respond to it.

Silence, hints, and implication do not obligate you to engage.

You can choose to respond only to what is directly spoken and observable.

You can say nothing, or you can say, “If you have something you want to say, please say it clearly.”

You are allowed to disengage from conversations that require mind-reading.

Clarity is not cruel.
Directness is not unkind.
Peace comes when you stop chasing meaning and start honoring reality.

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Chele Yntema is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Trauma Specialist.

In the spirit of reconciliation I acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. I pay my respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. I am committed to inclusion across race, culture, ethnicity, gender, sex, sexuality, religion, and ability. I recognise that people from diverse communities face systemic barriers and seek to challenge the current system and strive for change that makes mental health and wellbeing accessible to and inclusive for all.

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