When you are tired of being strong
When you are struggling to carry on
Remember that you are welcome here, you belong.
Chele Yntema
Psychotherapy & Counselling
I currently offer depth-orientated psychotherapy grounded in a relational approach.
This is a therapeutic conversation and relationship with a somatic, dynamic, and transformative quality. It is a process that attends to the unfolding organisation of experience across sensation as motivational movement, perception as relational connection, and interpretation as conceptual meaning-making.
First and foremost, we begin by creating a connection that feels relationally safe. A connection shaped by receptive presence, attunement, and gentle guidance inward.
Together, we begin to listen in new ways to the wisdom of your inner world, moving with what naturally arises as we attend to what matters moment to moment. In this way, an awareness may begin to gather around the dynamic oscillations of relationship, meaning, and context, and around the physiological, psychological, and relational patterns that have emerged across your lifespan.
Over time, our conversation begins to support a growing sense of internal and interpersonal trust. From here, curiosity may begin to emerge more freely, allowing us to move with what has felt confusing, painful, repetitive, or stuck..
Grounded in compassion, in your own intuitive knowing, and in my understanding of the developing mind and the impact of trauma, we work together to bring language, meaning, and coherence to your inner and relational world. This includes making space for what has been lost, what has gone unnamed, and what is still waiting to be felt, understood, and integrated.
Therapy in this way is not a linear process. It is often recursive, emergent, and deeply human.
As we stay close to what unfolds within and between us, new understandings can gradually gather. With time, this may support a deepening sense of trust in yourself, greater freedom in relationship, and a renewed connection to what matters most.
Ultimately, this is a process of cultivating contextual coherence through co-regulated connection and compassionate collaboration.
I specialise in burnout, breakdown, and trauma:
Burnout - The Relentless Pressure of Doing
Burnout arises from a part of us that feels the relentless pressure of doing, the prolonged burden of meeting demands that chronically exceed our system’s capacity. It is the physiological, psychological, and relational consequence of unyielding expectation, with too little space or permission to simply be.
Burnout is often culturally associated with the demands of success, productivity, and overwork. Yet for many, burnout also gathers through the exhausting labour of constant Self-monitoring and Self-modifying, the morphing and masking shaped by the ongoing pursuit of safety, belonging, and survival.
In this sense, burnout may be understood as the slowly accumulating cost of living at a distance from one’s own inner truth. It can emerge when protective patterns have learned, across time, to continually reorient and reconfigure in response to the needs, expectations, and pressures of the Other and the World. To remain connected, something more vital and authentic within may be repeatedly set aside.
Burnout is the silent cost of attachment over authenticity.
It is often characterised by exhaustion, anhedonia, depersonalisation, and a pervasive sense of inefficacy. These experiences reflect a gradual depletion of capacity, a protective shutting down within body, mind, and relationship, when too much has been carried for too long without sufficient restoration, recognition, or support.
This collapse rarely arrives all at once. It gathers quietly, slowly, and cumulatively, until the cost of masking, monitoring, striving, and carrying exceeds what the system can continue to organise. Burnout can then be understood as the body’s expression of what could not yet be fully spoken. Something in us knows that the way we have been living, coping, or enduring can no longer continue unchanged.
Some of the most piercing expressions of burnout arise where struggle has remained unseen, unspoken, or insufficiently understood. This may include neurodivergent burnout, shaped by the unrelenting expectations of a neuronormative world; carer burnout, arising through the ongoing and often invisible labour of tending to the needs of another; and professional burnout, emerging through sustained occupational demand, responsibility, and emotional burden.
Whatever form it takes, burnout speaks to a profound disorganisation that emerges from holding too much, too often, for too long.
Yet even here, burnout may also be understood as a call from within, an expression of the Self that longs to be met with greater authenticity, compassion, and care. In this sense, burnout may become the beginning of a different movement, one that turns gradually toward restoration, coherence, and return.
Breakdown - The Crisis of a Fractured Sense of Being
Breakdown emerges through a fractured sense of being, when the inner scaffolding that has supported our sense of Self begins to splinter under the weight of crisis, accumulated strain, or overwhelm.
While burnout gathers through prolonged overextension, breakdown speaks more to rupture. It can arise when inner dissonance, distress, or protective patterns have been stretched beyond what they can continue to organise. The ways of coping that once helped us endure may begin to falter, leaving us more exposed to what has long been carried beneath the surface.
Breakdown may be accompanied by fragmentation, disorientation, dissociation, or disorganisation. At these times, coherence can begin to loosen, and our system may move into an involuntary collapse or surrender. This can feel frightening, bewildering, and deeply destabilising, especially when there has been a long history of holding things together.
Although breakdown can appear sudden, it often has a longer history. It may gather through years of over-adapting, silent suffering, relentless responsibility, or surviving in ways that have required too much for too long. In this sense, breakdown can be understood as our system’s urgent expression that something can no longer continue in the same way.
Some of the more shattering experiences of breakdown arise during periods of transition, loss, or profound destabilisation. This may include developmental or maturational breakdown, when life transitions exceed available inner and outer resources and supports; situational or personal breakdown, when a significant disruption unsettles a felt sense of inner or outer home; and social or adventitious breakdown, when uncommon or unanticipated events bring extensive loss, instability, or rupture.
In moments of unravelling, breakdown may also become a threshold. Through compassionate and co-regulated therapeutic work, what feels fractured or disorganised can gradually begin to find language, recognition, and reorganisation. Over time, this can support a steadier return to coherence, connection, and Self.
Trauma - The enduring impact of overwhelm
Trauma arises when experience overwhelms our available capacity to cope and cannot be sufficiently integrated. This may happen when something is too much, too soon, too fast, too alone, or too little, too late. In these moments, our internal and external resources can become inaccessible, leaving our system unable to digest what has happened.
When this occurs, our system must adapt in order to survive. Our physiological, psychological, and relational responses begin to organise around protection, often in patterned ways that continue long after the original experience has passed.
Trauma is not defined by the event alone, but by the enduring impact it leaves within us. It can shape how we sense, perceive, and interpret ourselves, others, and the world around us. Its residue is carried in the body, in relationship, and in the meanings we have had to make in order to endure.
Trauma may be obvious or ambiguous, overt or covert, developmental or situational, collective or individual, acute or complex. Whatever form it takes, trauma often carries a disconnected, disorienting, and disorganising quality, especially where overwhelming experience was not sufficiently met with the safety, support, and relational-regulatory responses needed for integration.
Three forms of trauma commonly arise throughout experience:
Relational trauma may emerge when those we depend upon for safety and connection also become a source of fear, inconsistency, coercion, neglect, or harm. This can leave lasting effects in trust, closeness, felt safety, and the capacity to express need.
Incidental trauma may arise through sudden events that overwhelm our system, such as assault, accident, medical crisis, natural disaster, or other unexpected disruptions. Even where an event appears singular, its impact can continue to reverberate when there has not been enough support afterward.
Ambiguous trauma refers to experiences that may be harder to name or recognise, though their impact is no less significant. These can include subtle neglect, relational betrayal, spiritual exploitation, displacement, infertility, pregnancy or parenting under conditions of overwhelm, isolation, or insufficient support, and other experiences that leave a lingering sense of unanswered distress.
Whatever form it takes, trauma lives on as unfinished survival. It reflects what was endured without enough safety, support, choice, or companionship.
Through compassionate, co-regulated therapeutic work, protective patterns can gradually be met with the steadiness needed for reorganisation. Over time, this can support greater flexibility, contextual coherence, and a renewed sense of continuity within and between Self, Other, and World.
Parts Approach - For when the world shouts 'give up'... Hope whispers 'one more time'...
If you have worked with a range of practitioners and still felt that something in you remained unmet, or if you are seeking a more relational way of understanding your inner world, this may be a supportive space for you.
Together, we approach suffering through a compassionate understanding of parts, protective patterns, and younger aspects of experience. Drawing from the work of Dr Janina Fisher and Dr Richard Schwartz, we recognise that the inner world is often organised in ways that helped us survive, belong, and endure.
Our work gently explores the patterns that have taken shape through adversity, including protective withdrawal, anxious vigilance, people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional overwhelm, or shutting down. These responses carry intelligence and history. They reflect the ways our systems learned to adapt when life felt unsafe, confusing, or too much.
In this space, we come to know how these parts and protective patterns came to be, how they have tried to protect you, and what they may now be needing. You may recognise experiences such as:
A tendency to override your own needs in order to maintain harmony
A fear of speaking what you truly feel
Emotional overwhelm that feels sudden or all-consuming
A relentless pressure to get things right or anticipate every outcome
Numbing or disconnection when life feels too much
Together, we make room for these responses with dignity, curiosity, and care. As they begin to feel more safely met, the deeper needs beneath them can gradually become more reachable.
This is a somatic and dynamic process of integration, one that supports greater coherence, connection, and trust within yourself. Over time, it may become a gentle return to the fuller sense of Self that has been waiting beneath the need to survive.
Which may present as:
- Complex and developmental trauma
- Personality and dissociative difficulties
- Single-incident or multiple-incident trauma
- Trauma within autistic and ADHD experience
- Chronic depression or dysthymia
- Anxiety, panic, or separation distress
- Overwhelm, stress, or burnout
Theories & modalities I may draw from in my work:
Interpersonal Neurobiology
Based on the work of Dr. Daniel J Siegel Interpersonal Neurobiology is an interdisciplinary field that integrates principles from neuroscience, psychology, and various other disciplines to understand how relationships shape the development and function of the brain. It explores how interactions between individuals influence brain structure and function, emphasizing the importance of social connections in shaping mental health and well-being.
Affective Neuroscience
Based on the work of Jaak Panksepp affective neuroscience is a multidisciplinary field that studies the neural mechanisms underlying emotions, mood, and motivation. It explores how brain processes contribute to the experience, expression, and regulation of affective states, shedding light on the biological basis of emotions and related phenomena.
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is a psychological framework developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, focusing on the dynamics of emotional bonds between individuals, particularly between children and their caregivers. It posits that early interactions with caregivers shape the quality of attachment bonds, influencing an individual’s emotional and social development throughout their lifespan. The theory categorises attachment styles, such as secure, anxious-ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganised, based on how individuals perceive and respond to relationships.
Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, proposes that the autonomic nervous system (ANS) plays a crucial role in regulating social behavior, emotional responses, and physiological states. It suggests that the ANS comprises three interconnected pathways, with the vagus nerve playing a central role. The theory posits that the evolutionarily older parts of the vagus nerve (dorsal vagal complex) are associated with immobilization and shutdown responses, while the newer parts (ventral vagal complex) are linked to social engagement and connection. Polyvagal theory provides insights into how our physiological state influences our social interactions, emotional experiences, and overall well-being.
Psychodynamic Theory
Psychodynamic theory is a psychological framework that emphasises the role of unconscious processes, internal conflicts, and early childhood experiences in shaping personality and behaviour. Psychodynamic theory posits that unconscious drives and desires influence conscious thoughts and behaviours, and that unresolved conflicts from childhood can manifest in adult psychological problems. Therapy based on psychodynamic principles often involves exploring unconscious dynamics to promote insight, self-awareness, and emotional healing.
Compassion Focused Theory
Compassion theory revolves around understanding and cultivating compassion as a fundamental aspect of human behaviour and well-being. It encompasses both the cognitive and emotional aspects of compassion, emphasising empathy, kindness, and a desire to alleviate suffering in oneself and others. Compassion theory explores how compassion influences relationships, health, and societal structures, and it often intersects with fields such as psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy.
Emotion Focused Theory
Emotion theory encompasses various psychological perspectives that seek to understand the nature, origin, and functions of emotions. It examines how emotions are experienced, expressed, and regulated, as well as their roles in cognition, behaviour, and social interactions. Emotion theories may focus on physiological, cognitive, behavioural, evolutionary, or socio-cultural aspects of emotions, providing insights into their complexity and significance in human life.
Three-Phased Trauma Approach
The three-phased trauma approach is a therapeutic model that utilises three phases:
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Safety and stabilisation: Focuses on establishing a sense of safety and stability for the individual. This phase involves building coping skills, enhancing emotional regulation, and creating a supportive environment to manage symptoms.
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Processing trauma: Involves working through traumatic memories and experiences in a structured and safe manner. Therapeutic techniques such as exposure therapy or cognitive processing therapy may be utilized to help process and integrate traumatic memories.
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Integration and reconnection: Focuses on integrating the healing work done in therapy into the individual’s daily life. This phase involves building resilience, strengthening social support networks, and reconnecting with meaningful aspects of life.
The three-phased trauma approach aims to address the complex needs of trauma survivors, promote healing and recovery, and support individuals in rebuilding their lives after traumatic experiences.
Internal Family Systems
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic model that views the mind as composed of multiple “parts.” Developed by Richard Schwartz, IFS posits that each part has its own unique perspective, emotions, and motivations. The aim of therapy is to facilitate harmony and healing within the internal system by fostering compassionate understanding and communication between parts. Through compassionate connection and communication individuals learn to identify, engage, and understanding the intention of their parts, leading to greater self-awareness, integration, and emotional healing.
Dialectical Thinking & Feeling
Dialectical thinking and feeling refers to the ability to hold seemingly contradictory or opposing perspectives, emotions, or truths simultaneously without dismissing or invalidating either side. It involves embracing complexity and recognising the nuances inherent in human experience. Dialectical approaches, such as dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), emphasize balancing acceptance and change, rationality and emotionality, and validation of one’s own experiences while also considering the perspectives of others.
Transference & Countertransference
Transference refers to the unconscious redirection of feelings and attitudes from one person to another, often arising from past relationships or experiences. In therapy, transference commonly occurs when clients project emotions, expectations, or reactions onto their therapist, based on unresolved dynamics from their past.
Countertransference, on the other hand, refers to the therapist’s unconscious emotional reactions and responses to the client, often influenced by the therapist’s own experiences, biases, or unresolved issues. It can affect the therapeutic relationship and the therapist’s ability to provide effective treatment if not recognized and managed appropriately.
Somatic Awareness
Somatic awareness refers to the ability to perceive and attend to bodily sensations, feelings, and experiences. It involves being mindful of physical sensations, such as tension, relaxation, warmth, or discomfort, and recognising how they are connected to emotions, thoughts, and overall well-being. Somatic awareness is often cultivated through various practices of mindfulness, body scanning, or simply drawing attention to the body at specific moments throughout the day. Somatic awareness can enhance self-awareness, emotional regulation, and stress management.
Mindfulness & Meditation
Mindfulness is a state of present-moment awareness, characterized by non-judgmental attention to one’s thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment. It involves intentionally directing attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance, without getting caught up in past regrets or future worries.
Meditation, on the other hand, refers to a diverse set of practices that cultivate mindfulness, concentration, and emotional well-being. These practices often involve sitting quietly and focusing attention on a particular object, such as the breath, a mantra, or bodily sensations. Meditation aims to quiet the mind, deepen self-awareness, and cultivate qualities like compassion, clarity, and equanimity.
Non-Violent Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a communication approach developed by Marshall Rosenberg that emphasizes compassionate connection and conflict resolution. It involves expressing oneself honestly and empathically, while also listening with empathy to others. NVC focuses on identifying and expressing feelings and needs, rather than judgments or blame, in order to foster understanding and collaboration in relationships. The goal of NVC is to create mutual respect, trust, and empathy, leading to more authentic and satisfying connections with others.
You may be now thinking…. “But how do these all fit together?” To more fully understand what this may look like please take the time to read my article of health and wellbeing, as well as how I work for a more full understanding.
