To hold boundaries refers to the capacity to recognise and maintain the natural limits that organise how a person relates to themselves and to others. Boundaries are not rigid walls or acts of withdrawal. Rather, they reflect the system’s ability to differentiate Self from Other while remaining in connection.
When a person holds clear boundaries, they are able to sense their own needs, capacities, and limits, and to communicate these in ways that preserve dignity, respect, and relational reciprocity. Holding boundaries therefore involves awareness of one’s inner experience alongside an attunement to the presence and needs of others.
In this sense, boundaries support a healthy organisation of the system. They allow a person to remain connected without becoming overwhelmed, responsible without becoming overextended, and responsive without losing a coherent sense of Self.
Boundaries operate both between people and within the person themselves.
Interpersonal boundaries refer to the limits that organise interaction between Self and Other(s). These boundaries shape how closeness, distance, communication, and responsibility are negotiated within relationships. They allow individuals to remain connected while maintaining a sense of personal integrity and mutual respect.
Intrapersonal boundaries refer to the internal distinctions a person is able to hold within their own system. They allow the person to recognise and regulate different aspects of experience, including thoughts, emotions, impulses, and values. Through these internal boundaries, individuals can reflect on their responses, organise their actions, and maintain coherence within themselves.
When boundaries are clear and responsive, the system is better able to move within relational environments with steadiness. This supports compassionate connection while preserving a stable sense of Self within the broader relational milieu of Self, Other(s), and the World around us.
