Disconnection can be seen as something that has the potential to create chaotic or rigid behaviour – often this behaviour comes across as anger, frustration, depression, anxiety, or the like. I wonder… have you ever been in the situation where a conversation turns defensive?
Could it be that one of the four D’s of Disconnection popped up?
I wonder… The next time you notice an atmosphere of defence, notice also what may have just been said. If you are feeling defensive – what is arising in you?
Or perhaps if another is defensive, ask yourself did I just:
- Diagnose?
- Deny responsibility?
- Demand? or,
- Come across from a deserving stance?
If you do in-fact come to recognise this tendency within, try first compassionate connection based in empathetic listening. That is, instead of a “fix it” mentality, try simply listening to hear and to reflect what you understand, not what you feel needs to be done to amend the situation.
For more on compassionate connection, be sure to visit The Centre for Non-Violent Communication.
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