The Embodied and Relational Self in Professional Identity

Posted on June 14, 2022November 10, 2022 by Chele Yntema

What has happened to our ability to dwell in unknowing, to live inside a question and coexist with the tensions of uncertainty?  Where is our willingness to incubate pain and let it birth something new?  What has happened to patient unfolding, to endurance?  These things are what form the ground of waiting.  And if you look carefully, you’ll see that they’re also the seedbed of creativity and growth—what allows us to do the daring and...Read More

The Therapeutic Relationship and The Necessary and Sufficient Conditions of Therapeutic Change

Posted on December 26, 2021November 10, 2022 by Chele Yntema

There are certain emergent anthropological dynamics that often seem forgotten in our westernised society.  Such might be, at least to me, the innate integrative capacity of the mind-body that emerges when we, as a human species, find ourselves in authentic, respectful, and reciprocal relationships (2 Corinthians 6; Cozolino, 2002; van der Kolk, 2018).  Indeed, when psychobiological conditions are apt the inherent self-organising systems of the mind-body begin a process of restoration and growth whereby intuit...Read More

When vulnerability meets availability: A complex fractalated phenomenon that holds the potentiality of The Divine

Posted on October 30, 2021December 14, 2021 by Chele Yntema

Imagine various relationships you have with other people: sometimes we feel understood and our inner meanings of the mind are seen and respected.  Other relationships may be more challenging, and the inner reality of our feelings and thoughts are unseen and disrespected.  We send out communication to another person through the energy of our words and by way of our nonverbal expressions that can be heard and seen, but the other person does not create...Read More

You Care too Much: The Nature of Caring in Counselling

Posted on October 30, 2021 by Chele Yntema

Nearly a year ago a professional I respected bellowed the words “You care too much!”, and as the dissonance I had been harbouring toward the role I was in came crashing down, I finally realised how important it was to me to care.  Moreover, as I progress into reflective supervisory based practise, I am beginning to understand what it really means, at a practice level, to live in alignment with this innate capacity to care. ...Read More

Homeostasis

Posted on April 26, 2021April 2, 2026 by Chele Yntema

Though we may not always pay attention to it, within every living thing there is an inherent and adaptive awareness.  It is an awareness that gives rise not only to the basic functionality of our living and being Self, but so too to the emergence of our sensing, perceiving, interpreting, and reacting/responding Self.  This awareness was first brought into the realms of the factual known by Claude Bernard, and while later coined homeostasis by Walter...Read More

Resume Of Chele Yntema

Posted on March 27, 2021January 24, 2026 by Chele Yntema

WHO I AM PROFESSIONALLY Curriculum Vitae Of Chele Yntema Chele Yntema is a PACFA/CCAA Clinical Practitioner specialising in burnout, breakdown, and trauma. With a comprehensive background in Interpersonal and Affective Neurobiology alongside her psychotherapeutic work with presentations of complex trauma, Chele has begun to recognise and truly appreciate some of the most invisible layers of trauma, specifically the paradoxes within various dynamics of power. Chele has a compassionate demeanour and approach that, alongside her trauma-specific...Read More

Corrective Emotional Experience: The paradoxical line in my understanding

Posted on November 13, 2020June 28, 2021 by Chele Yntema

Under stress, Self found relentless fear and the need for a nourishing level of reception, connection, and protection.  Under guilt, Self found deceptive disgust and the need for an adaptable level of difference, independence, and acceptance.  Under shame, Self found unparallel grief and the need for an authentic level of affirmation, appreciation, and affection.  And ultimately under these needs lay a seeking Self who needed to be seen, to be heard, and to be understood....Read More

Transference: From past to present and into the future

Posted on November 12, 2020June 28, 2021 by Chele Yntema

Like an active vortex that sucks in atmospheric textures, swirls them around and spits out a reflection of our earliest years, transference is a felt sense within varied situational milieu that reflects a uniquely personal perceptual shaping of reality.  This is a reality that matches early embedded emotional-motivational patterns of energy and information flow.   Correspondingly, transference is the phenomenon that powerfully evokes a seemingly grounded sense of what is relationally known (metal process) from a...Read More

Defence Mechanisms: In my Defence

Posted on November 11, 2020June 27, 2024 by Chele Yntema

As I read and as I sit here in preparation for writing my heart begins to race, my stomach fills with a tizzy of tension, my eyes open wide, I do not blink, and as I begin to hold my breath I grit my jaw and clench my body knowing full well what these sensations are telling me; and I know full well why they have risen in this specific moment.  These sensations are those...Read More

To Love and To Suffer

Posted on November 10, 2020June 27, 2024 by Chele Yntema

How is it that there can be a reckoning of the paradoxical questions that have plagued humanity for all of time?  Questions of heartache and hopelessness, inequity and scarcity, disease and illness as they co-exist with questions of health and wellness, equitability and fruition, of faith, of hope, of love – questions of dying and of death that reflect questions of life and of living?  Is it possible to simultaneously acknowledge the known and the...Read More

Within the Window

Posted on November 8, 2020June 27, 2024 by Chele Yntema

Our nervous system’s window of tolerance – the intensity of feeling we can experience while still maintaining connection with another – is continually expanding and contracting.  When we are physically alone, the continually fluctuating breadth of our window depends on the strength of the regulatory system built in relationship with others as well as the supportive internal presence of those with whom we have close connections.  It varies from moment to moment depending on how...Read More

Containment and Non-Reactivity

Posted on November 6, 2020 by Chele Yntema

The therapist is comfortable sharing whatever emotions the client has and, in addition, wants to know the clients authentic experience more fully – as good or as bad as it actually is for them – without minimising or exaggerating it as others have often done.  In attachment terms, this highly accurate empathy is known as attuned responsiveness. … Therapists want to help clients experience [their emotions] more fully [rather than just cognitively labelling, explaining, or...Read More

Shame was always there

Posted on August 21, 2020August 21, 2020 by Chele Yntema

There is not a time where shame has not been present; not a time where I have not wondered “what is wrong with me”.  I was never “normal”; never good enough: never smart enough, never fast enough, never slim enough, never fit enough, never pretty enough.  Yet paradoxically I was always “too much”: too sensitive, too caring, too pale, too freckly, too fat, too emotional, too loud, too quiet, too boring, too slow.  Not enough,...Read More

The Sociology of Culture and the Paradoxical Nature of Diversity. Culturally-Infused Practice in Counselling.

Posted on April 21, 2019 by Chele Yntema

Born from and into relationship, we are - the human race is, anything but an isolated species.  Indeed, there is a universal reality that self-concept and identity are insurmountably enmeshed within ever evolving cultural contexts (Lago, 2005; Lott, 2010; Matsumoto & Juang, 2008; Siegel, 2012).  Yet, it would be foolish to dismiss that this same enmeshment, if not explicitly conceptualised, has the potential to create group and individual levels of segregation and identity disintegration that...Read More

Are you in conflict or collaboration?

Posted on September 23, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

Are you in conflict or collaboration? . Even in the most dire situations I am coming to understanding the empowerment we offer by approaching others from a place of non judgmental listening. . At the same time, I am learning that for it to be collaboration, listening is not enough; though it is so very hard, I am learning that for communication to be compassionately collaborative, my listening needs to understand, to hear needs, and to...Read More

Courage

Posted on September 23, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

To find the courage within us that enables us to see choice is to find and connect to our inherent heart. It is in our inherent heart that we hold the clarity, meaning, and poignancy the we need in lieu and in the light of any suffering we endure. So many times we may ask how we can help another. We want to mend, to fix, to eliminate the pain we see before us. ——...Read More

Human Freedom

Posted on September 23, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

What is human freedom? I used to suffer daily worrying about my “what if’s”... torturing myself allowing my mind to become exhausted by thinking. It has been journey of learning to be mindful and seeking change by taking responsibility of my thoughts. And it would be naive of me not to share that still today I often catch myself mindlessly thinking about the past or the future, swept up in ideas swirling around my mind...Read More

Freedom

Posted on September 23, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

What is Freedom? We are tangible yet intangible creatures capable of the extraordinary if only we choose to seek depth and understanding of why what is, what it is. Without depth of knowledge, without truly investigating why we are who we are, how could we possibly fathom who we could be, or who we can choose to become? For who we are is embedded, not only in our own personal biological, psychological, and sociologically history,...Read More

Hope

Posted on September 23, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

Reading about hope we may often assume that hope comes from setting explicit intentions or following dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. —- Yet, if in the past you have been taught, shown, or lived in experiences where relationships have negated to support courage and achievement (no matter how small that step in the right direction) then how could you possibly draw out a feeling hope? Or to embody the feeling that there is unfathomable possibility in...Read More

You only lose what you cling to…

Posted on September 23, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

I never really understood concepts like this until I left a life that wasn’t fitting well with my soul. At the time I thought what I was clinging to was the “right thing”. That holding fast to embedded and imbued traditionalist values that I had been taught, yet that I had not had the courage to fully examine with my own true heart. —- It took time, patience with myself, and hope in what I...Read More

Silence and Solitude

Posted on August 17, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations Each day I ensure I cultivate a space for silence in solitude. It is in this space that I find my breath and simply allow myself to pay attention. Thoughts come thoughts go. Sensations come and sensations go. With each one I see or feel I come back to my breath. Often this coming back creates a...Read More

Choices

Posted on August 17, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

Choices, Choices, Choices... Reading an article yesterday, and today as I came to start writing about meditation  (the what, the why, the science, and the how)  I can’t help to think about the precious gift we have been given in the ability to choose. To me choices are an endowment of autonomy; and yes sometimes it is hard and sometimes there are fights happening within my soul that almost leave me paralysed! Yet at the...Read More

The final word is love…

Posted on August 17, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

“The final word is love… To love we must know each other … and we know each other in the breaking of bread, and we are not alone any more. Heaven is a banquet and life is a banquet, too, even with a crust, where there is companionship. We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.” I think sometimes it...Read More

I am who I am

Posted on August 17, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

I am who I am. Listening to a podcast this afternoon I began to remember why I am who I am, and why paying attention to why I am who I am is important. To know the wounds of my heart and to be guided by them, not in hate or hurt, not through anger or vengeance, but in kindness, compassion, and in the freedom to give my joyous hope in love, faith, and hope......Read More

The Gift

Posted on August 17, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

The Gift in sadness... Though there still remains a deep grief, there is a place in my heart that can accept my past for the gift it has given me. Without my past I wouldn’t be who I am today, I wouldn’t believe in an ever present God who loves me, and most of all, I wouldn’t have been blessed with my beautiful miracle daughter. [content_block id=1189 slug=thank-you]

Compassion and Kindness

Posted on August 17, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

Self care and the intention to cultivate a compassionate space for ourselves first and foremost is not selfish. Without attuning first to our inherent needs for safety, rest, sustenance, connection, and self expression we are unable to attune to the finer qualities of our minds and hearts that allow for unconditional happiness. . And without our own internal unconditional and non judgmental grounded foundations, compassion and kindness for others cannot truly be with purity of...Read More

Trust the life that is here

Posted on August 17, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

Trust the life that is here... I think sometimes it is easy to get swept up in our ambitions, aspirations, pursuits, or perceived purposes. Yet, all the times I find myself in a swirl of hustle and bustle, trying to do this or that in pursuit of my goals I find anxiety takes over and I know deep down I am not living in my potential. It is in these times that I need space...Read More

Self Care – Rest, Recouperate, Rejuvenate

Posted on August 17, 2018August 10, 2020 by Chele Yntema

This week I have been reminded just how important it is to rest, to come back to a place where I feel connected and at peace. In winter this place for me is in the rays of light that radiate from the mid morning or afternoon sun. Self care is such a vital aspect of who we are - never forget your own inner value and the innate human need for restorative rest. [content_block id=1189...Read More

Hope

Posted on August 17, 2018 by Chele Yntema

I’ve had a bit of an anxiety stirring week, many things not “going my way” - yet as I put some of my anxieties aside and had coffee and a chat with a close friend I realised that even in the mess and chaos, even in my self doubt and internal turmoil, there was still the opportunity to see hope in everyday miracles. Small things, like the glint of happiness in a friends eyes; the...Read More

Home

Posted on August 17, 2018 by Chele Yntema

Sometimes after a long draining day all I need is to be home. To be me, to enjoy being me, and to be still and present in whatever arises within me ❤️🙏🏻 [content_block id=1189 slug=thank-you]

Self Care – do not do what you are “suppose to”

Posted on August 17, 2018 by Chele Yntema

Quite often we find ourselves falling into the trap of doing what we feel we are “supposed to” “have to” or “need to” in the sacrifice of our own needs or of self care. Although sometimes it can be hard to tell those we respect, care about, or even those we may fear, it is important to do things in our lives because we want to. And even sometimes when we think we may not...Read More

Innate Passion

Posted on July 21, 2018July 21, 2018 by Chele Yntema

I truly believe that when you follow your innate passion the flow of life prevails: time appears to come into fruition, momentum simply flourishes, and what seems like needed discipline becomes anticipation and incitement. From the moment you were just a light in the eye of The Devine an innate passion was instilled. The choice to follow your passion is the choice to follow The Devine in you. [content_block id=1189 slug=thank-you]

Awareness

Posted on July 21, 2018July 21, 2018 by Chele Yntema

Listening to an amazing podcast this afternoon I found myself smiling, nodding, and agreeing out loud on the bus! I love the idea of awareness and paying attention to my thoughts without judgment, simply acknowledging their presence and simply allowing them to be... and I love that with dedicated practise I continue to improve in these skills. I have been blessed to have just a few people in my life who have opened up resources...Read More

The Human Heart

Posted on July 16, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

I find the human heart and the heart-brain connection such an immersive topic... I am fascinated at the findings that support what traditions and cultures have known for many moons... Our hearts guide us, they connect with others on levels beyond what we can see, and not only that, we have an innate connection with the earth that cannot be denied. Such beauty and magnificence within us and surrounding us [content_block id=1189 slug=thank-you]

The Simple Path

Posted on July 16, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

What does the simple path really mean? After spending a day immersed in the research of potential and what it means to cultivate a life living unto innate destiny, I am inspired more than ever to cultivate a space that fosters simple mindful presence. To make time to acknowledge the paradox’s that make this a life worth living: the hope born out of despair, the faith born from hope, the love born from faith, and...Read More

Peace Within

Posted on July 16, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

"Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathising with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of those feelings and needs, people lose their desires to attack back because they see the human ignorance leading to those attacks. Instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence...Read More

Codependency

Posted on July 9, 2018July 10, 2018 by Chele Yntema

Codependency can be an overwhelming, negative, and sometimes toxic cycle in relationships. Have you ever wondered why sometimes no matter how hard to try to help others, they seem to remain a victim?  Or perhaps you feel as though others often continually treat you as someone who is forever in need of rescuing or fixing, even when you know you are quite capable. Sometimes in relationships the lines of responsibility become blurred and we fall...Read More

Sense Making

Posted on July 7, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

While I know the virtue of sense making, there is a lot of things in my life that are yet to make sense. Yet, the more I take the time in self compassion to sift through the inner workings of my mind, the more I realise just how important this is to my daughter. Knowing who I am and why I am who I am allows my daughter to know her mum completely in truth,...Read More

Belonging

Posted on July 7, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

I have always had a sense of belonging as “home” - so much so that in the depths of my trauma I can remember crying out “I just want to go home”... I resonate with the theory and practise that highlights the importance of our generations past. Of both the wounds and the triumphs that we may carry in our DNA. I think it can become easy to dismiss inherited traits, propensities, physiological memories, and...Read More

One of Those Days

Posted on July 6, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

Today was one of those days. One of those days where I have been overcome with feelings of “failure”. Of “not good enough”, of “the mum not coping”, and a day of self judgment that radiates into behaviours that leave me ashamed of who I am. Yet, at the same time I know that these feelings of shame and of self belittlement come from a place where never before has it been okay not to...Read More

Black and White: The Truth is Paradoxical

Posted on July 6, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

I think sometimes it is easy to forget that while life is often very black and white, life can also be seen as black or white with a spectrum of colours within and between... Though sometimes it is hard, I do wonder, what would it be like for you to work with the paradoxes of life rather than against them? To see all that is your truth as an interwoven, interconnected reality that cannot be...Read More

Faith

Posted on July 6, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

Faith is knowing nothing is certain but trusting anyway... How to we learn to trust? What does it mean to have faith? Is faith only for story books? It seems, sometimes, that we live in an epoch in time where control is in the forefront of all that is done. The uncertainty of tomorrow, rather than being embraced in the knowledge that we are enough, is meet with fear and trepidation, this leading to the...Read More

Family

Posted on July 6, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

I am learning more and more about the interconnected nature of family. Specifically, while the past has a strong influence on us holistically, it doesn’t have to keep us trapped. Everything from the expression of an individual’s DNA and the future of what it means to break perpetual cycles of embodied disease and illness; to the future of the earth and the way we harness holistic wellbeing through intrinsic energy. We have the choice to...Read More

Understanding Hate

Posted on July 6, 2018July 16, 2018 by Chele Yntema

  Dr Henry Cloud writes that hate is a part of what defines us and as such we need to understand hate. And while at first it seems a notion to be weary of, I resonate with the concept and believe it really does. Dr Cloud goes on to remind us that when we love something, we value it, and so when we love something it gives others a window into our souls. So too...Read More

Emotions

Posted on July 2, 2018July 2, 2018 by Chele Yntema

There is a flow of energy and information within ourselves and within our relationships that requires us to pay attention in times of change. Often when an emotion arises we are not quite sure what to make of it, so sometimes we choose to suppress it. Yet, if we choose to acknowledge the flow in our lives, then we can mindfully and intentionally stop to see an emotion as the active invitation to explore what...Read More

Justification of Judgement

Posted on July 2, 2018 by Chele Yntema

Have you ever been drawn in to the justification of judgement? Listening to a podcast by @soundstrue whereby Gabriel Bernstein spoke of the powerful draw of judgment. I often find myself being drawn into judgment without realising that, underneath it there is a projection of a self judgment and an aversion of facing the wounds within. I wonder, who can I be if I stop judging myself and others? Who can I be if I choose to...Read More

A Mindful Minute of Gratitude

Posted on June 22, 2018 by Chele Yntema

A Mindful Minute of Gratitude - I always enjoy natures beauty.  I love the captivating colours of this video and the way it immerses my entire being into a feeling a gratitude for our earth. Nature’s beauty can be fleeting -- but not through Louie Schwartzberg’s lens. His stunning time-lapse photography, accompanied by powerful words from Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast, serves as a meditation on being grateful for every day. (Source)

Survival

Posted on May 28, 2018 by Chele Yntema

How do we survive? There is no separating the self from other. Nor the need to join together in compassionate care. No matter how much sometimes it seems like this world is in turmoil, with chaos and confusion, maliciousness and miscommunication, blame, shame and condemnation running rife, I truly believe that each of us can personally make the choice to change and turn towards others in respect. To show another consideration no matter how much...Read More

Judgment

Posted on May 28, 2018 by Chele Yntema

This week I found myself feeling judged. Yet, as I took the time to compassionately understand my feelings I realised that I was the only one judging myself. The feelings of judgment I felt came from an embedded schema of “not good enough” and my own internal awareness (and pressure) to avoid giving “fix it” advice... While I cannot tell you that I am free from self pressure or judgment, I can tell you that...Read More

Culture

Posted on May 28, 2018 by Chele Yntema

I love learning about my families heritage and appreciating the culture I came from, as well as the many cultures I have been immersed in within my lifetime. It is an amazing thing to delve into your past and to create a sense of self based in a relationally rich narrative...it opens ours eyes to why we do what we do.